Folks, it sounds like Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin finally got that long-awaited dialup connection for his HP Pavilion!

He searched the internet, and the Big Tech companies (which definitely aren't biased), showed some articles about stuff that the media (also not biased) had to say about perceived violence from evil parents who don't think their kids should be indoctrinated by the new religion of the State.

At least he's not comparing it to other ridiculous things—

Oh.

Well, at the very least, it is so nice to see the information superhighway at work in the halls of Congress!

We're still waiting for Sen. Durbin's search engine results of "massive inflation," "border crisis," and "unconstitutional medical mandates"!