Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of year again: It's time to give thanks for all the reckless government spending about to be pushed through the House and Senate. And in honor of our perfect money-hungry government elites, Rand Paul recorded his very own rendition of "Twas the Night Before Christmas."
Enjoy:
Twas the week before Christmas and through the Senate and House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The earmarks were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there;
The senators were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of pork danced in their heads;
No budget was found, just mischief and debt,
While the taxpayers hung their poor heads and wept;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Senators sprang from their oxygen, "what was the matter?"
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters when they heard the word "cash."
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of midday to objects below;
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a 4,000-page omni with endless debt year after year;
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick;
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now, McConnel! Now, Schumer! Now, Pelosi and Vixen!
On Biden! On Stupid! On, Dumber and Blitzen!
To debt, to bankruptcy, to free money for all,
Now dash away, dash away, more cash for all!"
And then in a twinkle I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof;
As the economy threatened to run aground,
Down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound;
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of earmarks he had flung on his back,
An appropriator's dream, opening his pack;
His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
This spending season, instead of naughty and nice,
Santa brought everyone something regardless of price;
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He said "not to worry, there's always the Fed";
He spoke not a word and went straight to his work,
Undeterred by the debt, he turned with a jerk;
For naughty Pentagon that lost billions last year,
A fat stocking with extra cash and cheer;
And don't forget a delicious candy cane,
Sweet with $40 billion to tide over Ukraine;
Because of the climate it's not PC to leave coal,
No one seems to care because we're trillions in the hole;
Don't worry about leaving the budget a mess,
Democrats have given you 87,000 agents of the IRS;
So Saint Nick laid his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, his economists agog,
Numbing the pain with a cup of eggnog;
Up and away through the countries and tatters,
Free stuff for all, sky high prices don't matter;
His last words as the wind lifted his sleigh,
"If people lack money, just print it's okay";
But I heard him exclaim er he drove out of sight,
"Happy bankruptcy to all and to all a good night."
A wonderful performance by Senator Paul!
I think I'm gonna read that one to my kids tonight.
Satire aside, I want to give you this clip of Paul, who went out of his way to print this 4,000-page, $1.7 TRILLION spending bill to make a point.
The real question is this...What is more dangerous to the country, $1.1 trillion in new debt โ or as Republican leadership likes to say, "oh but it's a win, it's a big win, we're getting $45 billion for the military" โ so which is more important? which threatens the country more? Are we at risk for being invaded by a foreign power if we don't put $45 billion into the military, or are we more at risk by adding to a $31 trillion debt?
I think the greatest risk to our national security is our debt. The process stinks; it's an abomination; it's a no-good rotten way to run your government.
$6 trillion entity and they want 24 hours to process this and then they want to go forward.
Senator Paul needs to get his hat in the ring for 2024 ASAP.
Though we'll probably just go with whomever the establishment throws at us...