"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

I can't believe this is an actual article, or that the flaming dumpster previously known as "Scientific American" published it.

For those still unversed in the greatness that is Star Wars, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy for over a thousand generations.

Because the iconic lightsaber-wielding space wizards are the embodiment of hope and goodness in the Star Wars universe, the woke decided to use the acronym "JEDI" for woke causes.

It stands for "Justice, Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion" initiatives in scientific fields and institutions (because things like math need ideology now).

Apparently, however, the acronym coined by woke people is actually "problematic" according to other woke people, because the Jedi are prone to things like "white saviorism" and "toxically masculinity."

I'm not joking! The following is not parody!!

You'll need the Force to get through this mess:

The Jedi are inappropriate mascots for social justice. Although they're ostensibly heroes within the Star Wars universe, the Jedi are inappropriate symbols for justice work. They are a religious order of intergalactic police-monks, prone to (white) saviorism and toxically masculine approaches to conflict resolution (violent duels with phallic lightsabers, gaslighting by means of "Jedi mind tricks," etc.). The Jedi are also an exclusionary cult, membership to which is partly predicated on the possession of heightened psychic and physical abilities (or "Force-sensitivity"). Strikingly, Force-wielding talents are narratively explained in Star Wars not merely in spiritual terms but also in ableist and eugenic ones: These supernatural powers are naturalized as biological, hereditary attributes. So it is that Force potential is framed as a dynastic property of noble bloodlines (for example, the Skywalker dynasty), and Force disparities are rendered innate physical properties, measurable via "midi-chlorian" counts (not unlike a "Force genetics" test) and augmentable via human(oid) engineering. The heroic Jedi are thus emblems for a host of dangerously reactionary values and assumptions. Sending the message that justice work is akin to cosplay is bad enough; dressing up our initiatives in the symbolic garb of the Jedi is worse.

I mean, wow!!

This was practically written by a Sith Lord. The only way you get this brainwashed is if you hang out with people who practice the Dark Side.

When I watched Star Wars for the first time, I totally remember how I thought the Jedi were a bastion of "whiteness" when a little green alien was teaching Luke Skywalker the principles of discipline and focus!

And let's not skip over the term "phallic lightsaber."

I could get really nerdy on y'all, and talk about how this writer is clueless to the underlying lore of Star Wars, or how the Jedi were portrayed as losing their way through bureaucracy, legalism, and war in the waning hours of the Old Republic, but I'll spare you all the details. Just go watch the movies.

(Skip the post-modern drivel of Episodes 7-9 though, thanks.)

Here's some more insanity:

Star Wars has a problematic cultural legacy. The space opera franchise has been critiqued for trafficking in injustices such as sexism, racism and ableism. Think, for example, of the so-called "Slave Leia" costume, infamous for stripping down and chaining up the movie series' first leading woman as part of an Orientalist subplot. Star Wars arguably conflates "alienness" with "nonwhiteness," often seeming to rely on racist stereotypes when depicting nonhuman species. The series regularly defaults onto ableist tropes, memorably in its portrayal of Darth Vader, which links the villain's physical disability with machinic inhumanity and moral deviance, presenting his technology-assisted breathing as a sinister auditory marker of danger and doom.

Like, really, was this WRITTEN BY DARTH VADER??

It must have been. Anakin Skywalker was always insecure, after all.

The only way you could defend a character who slaughtered all his friends (and a bunch of children), and then went on to terrorize the galaxy for decades, is if you are a Dark Lord of the Sith who has drunken deep of the Dark-Side Kool-Aid.

I could go on, but the rest of the article is too dense and way too stupid to repeat here.

These clowns see everything through the lens of race and sex, and are apparently so disconnected from their humanity (like Vader) that they can't recognize universal narratives on good vs. evil, the abuse of power, hope, friendship, and the hero's journey.

I still can't believe it's not straight out of The Babylon Bee!

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