For so many years Minnie Mouse has embodied elegance, poise and feminine grace—I mean, as a mouse, sure, but you get the idea:

Because we live in a woke era where everything has to be less pleasant and more grating, they're giving Miss Mouse a miserable makeover:

Minnie Mouse is getting a whole new look in honor of Disneyland Paris' 30th anniversary celebration!

The iconic Disney character – who is usually clad in a red-and-white polka dot dress and matching bow – will debut a very fashion-forward, modern-day twist on her signature look while celebrating the park's big milestone. ...

"This new take on her signature polka dots makes Minnie Mouse a symbol of progress for a new generation. She will wear it in honor of Women's History Month, in March 2022. I can't wait for you to see this new look at Walt Disney Studios Park!"

Oh, is it a "symbol of progress?" What do you think?

Oof. Honestly—look, we're not trying to be cruel here, but if Mickey rolled up to pick up Minnie for a night at the movies and she was wearing this thing, he'd give it the once-over and then ask, honestly confused: "Are you wearing that?"

(You've all been there, fellas. Sometimes you can't stop yourself even when you know it's not gonna end well.)

Seriously, though, it's not good. It's a bad look. It looks like a prom suit that a norms-defying punk rock girl would've worn to the prom in like 1995. It's really unappealing.

It does kinda make sense that this is happening at Disneyland Paris, a.k.a. EuroDisney, a resort once described as suffering from "cultural Chernobyl." They've always done weird stuff over there.

Anyway, spare a thought for ol' Mickey, who's going through a lot right now.