Commodore Vanderbilt

Not the Bee's business & finance reporter.

Ronald Ulysses

I can do what I want.

Edward Teach

Damnation seize my soul if I give you quarter, or take any from you.

Jeffrey Swindoll

Sonseekr, son of David // Jeffrey received a B.A. in Journalism and has completed Master's level seminary courses.

Jessica Swietoniowski

I write and make videos. I like to laugh at things I shouldn't laugh at. Spending time with animals is my favourite thing to do. I ❤️ Canadian truckers.

Dr. Subtilis

Dr. Subtilis is the pseudonym of the person who writes these articles. Dr. S has published numerous articles and several books. Several decades as a professor, from a small liberal arts college to top-ranked research universities. Writing here pseudonymou...

NTB Staff

These articles were written by somebody on payroll that doesn't want to take credit for any of this controversial nonsense.

HarrietRigby

Fake Name, Real News. Not @harrisrigby

Harris Rigby

Harrison, Harris, or Harry.

Mister Retrops

Silly Not the Bee author who has trouble telling the difference between the Marxes and the Marxists because they’re all so absurd! Also a Christian, husband, father, book author, and directionally challenged man who never did learn the difference betw...

Ghost of Reagan

Haunting commies with space lasers.

Wolfgang Ramsay

Bringing the spice 🌶️

Cardinal Pritchard

Hello, my name is Cardinal Pritchard. I am a husband and a father of two. I've been known as a jock but can no longer dunk so I just sit on the couch now and yell at the sportsballers while drinking Dr. Pepper and munching on Cheetos. I've recently come...

Hamilton Porter

Hamilton Porter, sports reporter.

Daniel Plainview

I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed.

Daniel Payne

Beloved child of God. Staff writer at Not the Bee.

Thinkr

We summarize the key ideas from new and noteworthy nonfiction. Read or listen in just 10 minutes per title.

Mik Olson

Writer and contributor at The Christian Post and The Federalist, podcaster (like every other white, straight male), YouTuber, snowboard enthusiast, and unapologetic cat hater.

AnnieOakley

Just a straight shooter.

Beelon Musk

Co-owner of The Babylon Bee and Thinkr. Co-founder of Not the Bee and Bee Social. Full stack web/iOS/Android developer. Father to 4 awesome kids. Husband to 1 awesome wife.

PlanetMoron

Political junkie, troublemaker, part-time drunk. Castigat ridendo mores.

Kyle Mann

Editor-in-Chief of @babylonbee, husband to @DestinyMann3. Everything will be made new again.

John Knox

"Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God."

Jesse James

Don't that picture look dusty?

Slightly Desperate Housewife

Wife of one very funny husband and former stay-at-home mom of two even funnier kids (now grown and productive taxpayers)! I really like fixing typos (not that the Bee writers ever make typos...😅) Community Manager for the Bee - feel free to contact me...

Doc Holliday

I know, let's have a spelling contest!

Peter Heck

I teach school and write things.

Adam Ford

Founder of The Babylon Bee, co-founder of Not the Bee

Rex P Dynamite

I enjoy Reddit, my dog, and being outside.

David Doppleganger

I am not who you think I am.

Faith Dillon

Joyfully espoused these past many decades to my high school sweetheart and lifelong boyfriend. Proud breeder of incredibly talented, creative, entrepreneurial offspring. Bountifully blessed MomMom to eight of the world's most wonderful grandbabies. Eterna...

Seth Dillon

CEO at The Babylon Bee, the world's most trusted, factually accurate news source.

Davy Crockett

You can all go to hell. I’m going to Texas.

Chris Cowan

Pronouns: Dollar Tree/Toasted Cheddar Chalupa/Hot Tub || Host of "Stunning and Brave" podcast, award-wanting voice actor, and Nobel-worthy writer for The Babylon Bee and Not The Bee.

Dan Coats

Just another Bee.

Holly Ash

You'll figure it out.

Neo

I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin.

Joel Abbott

Editor-in-Chief of Not The Bee. Disciple of Christ, father of four energetic girls, and author of a few books you probably haven’t read. Dedicated to proper exegesis and torching commies as ordained by God in eternity past. Amen and Awomen.