Yo, Chicago, this guy's only been arrested 52 times previously; what's the worst that could happen?

Oh.

I wouldn't be surprised if Chicago lets this guy out of jail within the week.

I shouldn't joke, but this is what we've come to expect from easy-on-crime cities across the country.

A man who was arrested for allegedly kidnapping a teenager and repeatedly raping her in his basement had been previously arrested 52 times, according to Illinois police.

Cook County prosecutors said 48-year-old Derek Swift drove up to the 15-year-old girl on Dec. 6 while she was walking to her home in Chicago.

The girl said that he kept asking her if she wanted a ride until she relented and got into his car. Once inside the car, she was allegedly pressured to drink alcohol and take drugs until she agreed and then went unconscious.

She said that she awoke naked in the man's basement apartment and was kept against her will for nearly five months while she was repeatedly sexually assaulted by Swift. She hit her 16th birthday while being allegedly held captive.

Now for that meme that was too spicy for Facebook:

(I think a slow-moving conveyor belt would also be a good addition.)

To think this man could've been off the streets in any sane place where 52 arrests actually meant something.

Swift would leave the young girl at home in the basement alone for "days at a time," and even left her a cell phone which she obediently only dialed him on. She made no other calls because Swift threatened to kill her or anybody she dared to call on the phone.

It was four months after her kidnapping, in April, when she finally found a piece of mail with the home's address on it and phoned police with the information.

When police interviewed the man, he allegedly admitted to picking the girl up but claimed that he believed she was 20 years old. He also claimed that their sex was consensual.

McCord argued that whatever age Swift believed the girl to be, it was immaterial to the charges he faced. Swift is charged with one count each of aggravated kidnapping, kidnapping, criminal sexual assault, and aggravated criminal sexual abuse.

Swift's defense attorney asked why the girl didn't simply leave the situation, but McCord answered that she had been allegedly threatened and beaten by Swift for trying to escape twice.

‘She's now a child who had been in this basement, fed pills, raped every day, and threatened that he would kill her, threatened he would kill her loved ones,' the prosecutor argued. ‘She didn't say anything, but how can she? She is a child. She is a child who was being traumatized in the most unimaginable way.'

Super glad they passed that SAFE-T Act down there in Illinois!

Looks like they might actually lock this man up now though. Finally.

At a bail hearing, police said that Swift had been arrested 52 times in his life. Judge Susana Ortiz said he was a safety risk and ordered him to remain behind bars at the Cook County Jail. His next court hearing is scheduled for May 21.

His charges:

Derek Swift, 48, is charged with one count each of aggravated kidnapping, kidnapping, criminal sexual assault, and aggravated criminal sexual abuse.

Swift is due a fair trial.

That being said, MAKE WOOD CHIPPERS GREAT AGAIN.

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