Vice President Kamala Harris joined the peaceful protests last week, hoping for a really fun cocktail party. While mixing up some sweet Molotov cocktails and laughing with glee at the thought of drinking a cocktail from a beer bottle, she was rudely interrupted by a blue haired girlish boy or boyish girl, or whatever, who just yanked it from her hand claiming it wasn't for drinking. Of course, as people are always taking drinks from her and dumping them in the grass, Kamala thought nothing of it and began mixing another. This time, Nancy Pelosi intervened to teach her the real truth about these very special cocktails that are only for lighting fires at peaceful protests. After explaining it to Kamala like she was five, it finally sank in, and she and Nancy decided to just drink wine straight from a wine bottle instead, like usual. But that's not all that has been happening lately!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title Headline by @justhfred.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Gavin Newsom Announces No Taxes On Looting @dontslowtheearth
Rioter Interrupted When Mom Calls To Make Sure He's Having A Nice Time @kirgol
Netanyahu Skips Six Days Of Marching; Goes Straight To Blowing Trumpets And Shouting @annafillaxis
Marines Plant U.S. Flag In Hollywood Hills @neohillbilly
Sad: Dad Endures Another Year Without Receiving A Sherman Tank For Father's Day @drconservativeprof
Political Party Denounces Political Violence They Instigated @priehle
Husband Getting Impression Wife Not Fascinated By Benefits Of Ceramic Brake Pads @webidtheefarewell
LA, Other Urban Rioters Scrambling To Find Iranian Flags By Tomorrow @molivson
Greta Snags Upgrade From No Class To Economy @bbarton713
Sad: Six Month Old Baby Still Can't Sit Upright Due To Ponderous Hair Bow @elmer2flp
Rioters Use Endless Supply Of Bricks From Angel Reese @twoplus2ischicken
Weird Modern Boy Excited To Play In Dirt @reckless4life
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Elon Apologizes To Trump By Spelling Out I'm Sorry In Night Sky With Star Link Satellites @thebigfreeze
Local Couple Trapped In Happy Marriage With Five Kids @hamnetwall55
New App Warns You In Advance When Backup Pastor Is Preaching @rs2484
Wife Scientists Determine That You Know What You Did @dolamroth
Iran Announces Unexpected Delays In "Death To Israel" @jakflak
Dispensationalists Super Excited About Death And Destruction In Iran @slayinggiants
Zoning Commission Sides With Husband On Lack Of Shared Bed Space @lilsebastian
Conspiracy Theorist Claims Bombing Of Iran's Nuclear Facilities Was Orchestrated By The Jews @baberahamlincoln
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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