The new mayor of New York City, Zohran Mamdani, began his tenure last week with a pilgrimage to meet President Trump. Though the communist and capitalist billionaire have had a contentious relationship thus far, Mamdani turned on the charm as he explained to the president that he was sure communism would work well in New York City if it could be funded by capitalism. After promising free busses, low cost groceries and Sharia Law, Mamdani needs money, and who better to ask for money than the most powerful and successful capitalist, President Trump. Having already left the Big Apple for lower taxes in Florida, Trump has a unique understanding of the problems NYC faces. Though the two reportedly got along well, Trump explained that unfortunately the capitalist US Government is broke from all the entitlement programs and won't be able to fund the communism in New York City. Insiders report Mamdani has decided to just claim all the kids in NYC are autistic and get federal funds that way.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @waltfla.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Theologians Confirm Purgatory Is Receiving Your Multi Factor Authentication Code But It Never Works @drconservativeprof
Winning - Thirteen Major Hurricanes Avoid US Because Of Gulf Of America Name Change @tonys
Man In Custody After Replying To 'Do Not Reply' Email @middleaged_machinist
Moses Comes Down From Sinai To Find Baptists Worshiping Chick-fil-A Cows @twoplus2ischicken
Mom Begins Traditional Daydreaming Of Going Out To Eat For Thanksgiving @kirgol
Republicans Wait Patiently To Find Out If Marjorie Taylor Greene Took Her Meds Today @dontslowtheearth
Trump Brags About Drawing A Better Hand Turkey Than Everyone Else @fishythepenguin
"Do Not Touch' The Scariest Thing To Read In Braille @thecatman
No Pardon This Year: Trump Orders Drone Strike On Turkeys @thebigfreeze
Kansas City Chiefs MVP Ref Suffers Season Ending Injury @coachjoeconway
AOC Suggests USA Raise Turkeys Domestically Instead Of Importing Them All The Way From Turkey @baberahamlincoln
Genius Boomer Puts On Some Pounds To Prep His Clothes For Holiday Weight Gain @ruthiej714
New Epstein Advent Calendar Unveils One New Email Every Day @westland619
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Family Called Together For Reading Of The Will As Man Cold Enters Third Day @middleaged_machinist
Uh-oh: Tucker Is At The Pearly Gates And Saint Peter Is ''Just Asking Questions'' @optimus_bardlederp
Trump Tells Marjorie Taylor Greene To Cleanse Herself Seven Times In The Jordan River @buzzf117
Local Man Not Asking For Much, Just To Be Able To Wear Crusader Armor While Driving A Monster Truck On A Volcano @davidjohnson
Turkeys Seen Using Ozempic To Be Spared As Thanksgiving Dinner @westland619
Homeschooler Asks Cute Girl, 'May I Meet Your Father?' @skullcrazes
Man Cold Comes On Suddenly As Wife Writes Honey Do List @ruthiej714
Mamdani Explains To Trump That Communism Works When Funded By Capitalism @waltfla
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Local Dad Explains To Children At Bedtime: Look, You're Tired, I'm Tired, The American People Are Tired… @bombtomfill
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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