Ever since the unfortunate release of the remake of the classic film Snow White, insiders report that Prince Charming has been desperately trying to put Snow White back into the peaceful state of endless slumber. A sentient Snow White has not turned out to be what the prince expected as she reportedly blabs on and on about 'the oligarchy' and keeps insisting that empty theaters are 'fine.' However, reversing the breaking of the Evil Queen's spell has been unsuccessful thus far, leading Prince Charming to enlist the help of Judge Boasberg. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Female Athletes In Maine Use Boys Locker Room To Avoid Seeing Testicles @dontslowtheearth
March 24: Trump Receives Postmaster General Resignation Letter Mailed January 20 @coachjoeconway
Democrats Demand Republicans Leak State Secrets The Old Fashioned Way By Sleeping With Chinese Spies @thebigfreeze
JD Vance Claims Greenland For The United States, Plants US Flag @gfanson
Genius Mom Schedules Spring Cleaning During Spring Break @kirgol
To Keep Secrets Safe, Trump Administration Moves All Classified Documents To Biden's Garage @twoplus2ischicken
Greenland Surrenders After Receiving JD Vance Death Stare @drconservativeprof
Christian Women Upset To Learn Jesus Was Attached To Their Gossipy Text Chat @ruthiej714
'Fighting Oligarchy' Tour: Come Watch The Millionaires Complain That We Have Billionaires @surfduck
Britain Glad They Don't Have To Ban Dangerously Sharp Dental Equipment @baberahamlincoln
UK Passes Law To Ban Murder @yantelope
Chelsea Clinton Kicks Off Political Career By Publishing Her Autobiography "HillaryBilly Elegy" @skp
Disney Executives Described As Grumpy @buzzyboy
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Bernie Sanders And AOC Promise To End Oligarchy If Granted Absolute Power @jmoconnor9301
After Visiting Grandparents, Children Placed In 12 Step Detox Program @nicalys
Severity Of Mistake Downgraded After Man Learns It Was His Fault @middleaged_machinist
Biden Team Confirms His Upcoming Democrat Revival Tour Will Be Open Casket @thyseattle
Theologians Believe Adam's First Fig Leaf Garment Was Cargo Shorts @davel
Rachel Zegler Follows Up Snow White With Role As IBS Sufferer #2 In New Pharmaceutical Commercial @lpathehuman
Calvinist Wife Explains She Was Predestined To Have All These Throw Pillows @kirgol
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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