Bee Forum News: Trump Flattens Harris In Dialectical Campaign Crash
· Aug 12, 2024 · NottheBee.com

With the advancements in AI, Harris/Walz campaign events look to unbiased observers exactly like Trump/Vance rallies now, but there was in fact a huge clash this week between the two campaigns that played out on TV for all the world to see. Harris started things off by declaring that her campaign was all about the simple and clear ideal "Joy," giving no details and taking no questions. Trump responded with an hour-long press conference explaining in detail how and why American greatness will suffer tremendous harm, you won't believe the harm, should Harris win, and how he will Make America Great Again — giving round one in this dialectical crash of ideas to Trump. The two have agreed to a debate where the world will watch a quantum collision of opposing ideas, or one candidate with ideas and one joyfully stealing those ideas, on live TV. Who will win? We shall see! But that's not the only thing that happened this week!

Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.

Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:

  • Oops! Rhythmic Gymnast Gets Ribbon Caught In Her Beard @kirgol

  • Walz Admits He Isn't A Combat Veteran But Insists That Listening To Kamala Talk Is The Same Thing @drconservativeprof

  • Dead Or Alive, Former President Carter Will Vote For Kamala Hoping To Move From Second Worst President To Third @dontslowtheearth

  • Boys Room Tampons Renamed Tiny Tims @disidente_redactico

  • Walz's Wife Enjoyed Roasting Marshmallows Over Burning Businesses During BLM Riots @showquest

  • Secret Service To Undergo Intensive ‘Where's Waldo' Training @gfanson

  • Tim Walz Opening His New Minneapolis Pizza Joint With Tire Burning Stoves @thebigfreeze

  • Pelosi Submits Request To Vatican For Biden's Canonization @realmccoy

  • Democrats Will End Drunk Driving Deaths By Taking Away Cars From Law-Abiding Drivers @ruthiej714

  • UK Magistrate Warns Wig Memes Punishable By Death @priehle

  • With WW3, Recession Looming, Border Invasion, Stephanopoulos Asks The Tough Question: 'Mayonnaise Or Miracle Whip?' @carolyn1

  • Trebuchet Wins Gold Medal In Women's Shot Put @twoplus2ischicken

  • Sad: Emhoff Could Have Dated Fran Drescher And Had The Nanny AND The Cackle @webidtheefarewell

  • Mayor Of Sodom And Gomorrah Distances Self From Harris Campaign @carolyn1

  • Kamala Asks Why Everyone Keeps Bugging Her About Borders When Barnes And Noble Is Still Open @unclecrumpty

  • Introvert Olympic Sprinter Accidentally Wins Gold After Attempting To Distance Himself From Everyone Around Him @leecory

Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:

  • King Solomon Depletes Riches After One Trip To Five Guys @twoplus2ischicken

  • Tim Walz Threatens To Burn America If Not Elected But Maybe Also If Elected Too @jswag

  • Daily Wire Presents, ‘Jeremy's Olympics' @1horsepony

  • In Honor Of Walz, Activision Releases New Game: Dereliction Of Duty @niceguy79

  • Historic: Kamala First Ever Indian Unable To Explain How Cloud Tech Works @baberahamlincoln

  • 'Thanks Tampon Tim': Op Ed By Boy Who Had To Pick Up Tampons For His Mom From School Bathroom @dontslowtheearth

  • Gavin Newsom Announces Plan To End Homelessness For Three Months @shadrach

  • Boat Lands At Plymouth Rock Filled With Brits Seeking Freedom From Tyrannical Government @davel

  • Stranded Astronauts Build Their Own Re-Entry Vehicle From Orbiting Space Junk @neohillbilly

  • In A Step To End Misogyny, Kamala Says She's Going To Change The Nuclear Football To A Nuclear Purse @vernhilda

  • Media Conveniently Forgets To Mention That Huge Turnout Of Dead Voters At Kamala Rally Was Really There To See Elvis @justhereforthefreest

@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:

  • Media Portraying Walz As, ''America's Dad,'' But Are Reluctant To Refer To Harris As, ''America's Weird Cat-Lady Aunt That The Family Never Talks About'' @71yoo6k

Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!

Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico


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