Cartoon Network and HBO Max are launching a bunch of new shows to wokeify your kids
· · Sep 17, 2021 ·

In case anyone out there is still letting their kids watch Cartoon Network (or started letting their kids watch HBO), there's more woke programming coming down the pipeline to, well, program your kid in the ways of rainbows and "tolerance."

Check out this trailer for "Little Ellen," where an animated Ellen Degeneres and her friends "march to the beat of their own drum."

"It's these sweet little characters that always have the best intentions and are hopefully teaching kindness and supporting one another, and everything that a cartoon should be," DeGeneres told the Associated Press.

"But it just happens to have a couple of characters that have same-sex parents. which is great. I think it's always important for kids to be exposed to what is reality. This is reality," she said. "It's supportive."

What is the best model for marriage, sexuality, parenting, and family?

Whatever Ellen tells us is "reality," that's what.

And you GOTTA love how Ellen's show is teaching kids about kindness ... after ... you know ... her little issues.

The line-up also includes Jessica's Big Little World, a spin-off of Cartoon Network's Craig of the Creek, which featured gender non-binary and other LGBTQ characters.

It's important to teach your children about all 19,321 genders in the universe. Remember, follow your heart!

Bea's Block, an animated series from the Sesame Workshop, will celebrate multi-cultural diversity in an imaginary world of block toys. The series will premiere in 2022.

Ah, multi-cultural block toys. Now we're getting somewhere.

I assume there will be a block who thinks Jesus, marriage, Shakespeare, and the Constitution are pretty great and will be cast into a fiery furnace by the other "diverse" toys!

I saved the worst for last though:

A re-booted Tom & Jerry series is also part of the new slate. In addition to cat-and-mouse hijinks, the new show will spotlight what WarnerMedia called a "core learning curriculum, based in education and essential readiness research."

You know the last thing a funny show about a cat chasing a mouse needs?

"Core learning curriculum."

I imagine this iteration of Tom will have a man bun, iconic glasses, smell like weed, and give profound lectures on why his white owners are killing the planet.

I'll have to stick with the old Tom & Jerry. My kids especially love the Gatling guns and grenades!

For its part, WarnerMedia (the parent company of both networks) says they're not trying to brainwash your kids. They're just being "very intentional" about "what the kids are learning."

"We are not aiming to push boundaries. We are aiming to be very intentional about what it is that we're showing and saying, and what the kids are learning," Amy Friedman, head of kids and family programming for Warner Bros., told the AP.

"We are lucky to be able to be starting this at a time when we are all so much clearer now about what representation looks like."

What they mean by "not pushing boundaries" is that they believe that all the modern beliefs on gender and sex should accepted as gospel truth – you know, because "we are all so much clearer now about what representation looks like."

That means none of this stuff – from polyamorous throuples to transhumanism to critical race hustling to maverick libragenders – is beyond the "boundaries" of reality for these folks!


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