I'm done arguing against this stuff. Everything's on the way out, right? Two millennia of hard-won civilizational stability is crumbling before our very eyes. Why fight it?

The latest TikTok food obsession, the butter board, continues to intrigue dairy fans.

The buzz around the new party staple snack — softened butter that's mixed with and/or topped by flavorings from salt and citrus to honey and bacon, then lavishly spread on a serving board and served with bread — was sparked Sept. 12 when cook Justine Doiron posted to her audience of 2 million on TikTok. Within a week, #butterboard had scored more than 30 million views; it now has over 115 million.

Me when Mrs. Wolfgang Ramsey asks if we should make a butter board for our next dinner party:

Seriously this is pretty tacky. It looks like... well, you want to know what it looks like? It looks like 16oz of butter mashed onto a charcuterie board and flecked with apple chutney. It feels like the sort of thing you might see at a dinner party on the Ohio frontier circa 1740. This is what it looks like when pioneers get fancy.

But I mean, who's arguing? I'm not.

Everything's crumbling, right?

I mean, look out your window right now. What do you see? That's right:

Everything's on borrowed time at this point, go ahead and go nuts with the butter boards!

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