It was bound to happen eventually.

For every type of clothing, there's a million and one different products available. Try counting all the brands of socks for sale on Amazon. I'll see you back here in a decade or so. One of the beauties of the free market is the endless variety afforded to the consumer. This reality has long been memorialized by the visit of Soviet leader Boris Yeltsin to America in 1989.

In the wonderful year of 2020, however, lockdowns and government mandates have created a mask-sized hole in the market. People have had to resort to using ugly paper masks, scarves, and even KFC boxes to get by. With such a market shortage, people have scrambled to find masks that fit their personality and style. But what if you want more than just style? What if you want a way to differentiate yourself from the common rabble??

Enter Alok Mohanty, the owner of a furniture store in eastern India who has a particular penchant for gold. He recently saw a story about a businessman on the other side of the country who had made a $4,000 mask from solid gold.

Inspired, Alok decided to buy one of his own. He contacted a Mumbai jeweler with his request, who was happy to take Alok's money and forge a fashion statement worthy of the year 2020. In a feat that would make the elven smiths of Lothlórien jealous, the jeweler spent 22 days handcrafting Alok's mask. Unlike the mask that had inspired his purchase, this one was built on top of an actual N95 respirator with a vent. The gold is woven into the mask, allowing it to stretch and breathe.

Look at the stitching on this bad boy. It may not be Mithril, but it'll certainly let people know you're rich while keeping the Rona at bay:

When asked about his purchase, Alok had this to say: "People call me 'Gold Man' because of my love for gold and I am wearing gold from past 40 years."

Some men just like bling, am I right? 😉