It's a religion. Always was.

Oh Praise Thee, Most Holy Floyd, Patron Saint of Fentanyl!

In the past, godly men and women were chosen to be honored by church leaders for their close walk with Jesus Christ. They healed the sick, defied tyrants, modeled virtue, traveled over land and sea to reach the lost, and helped the poor and oppressed.

But today, in the Year of Our Floyd 4, we honor violent serial convicts who point guns at pregnant women, use counterfeit money, and resist arrest while sitting in a car with their drug dealer. We even honor the holy relics that were used in their cause!

We praise the holy toxicology report that showed the virtuous elements of fentanyl, meth, weed, nicotine, and caffeine all in one body at one moment in time, and pray for the transubstantiation of his body into ours.

You see, George Floyd goes beyond the saints. Only the messiah, the savior of the world - God incarnate - died for each and every one of us.

As the woman at the exhibit said, the red is for Floyd's blood, shed for us, and the white represents the purification from our sins!

As it is written in the Holy Book of Floyd:

"He was knelt on for our transgressions, he was handcuffed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his overdose we are healed."

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