Chalk up another resounding victory for women "pastors," as one of them has now weighed in on the important — and imminently relatable — dilemma of what to do when your child takes your sex toy to school.
Kelly Michelle Edmiston — "lead pastor" at The Vineyard Church of Sugar Land in Stafford, Texas — did just that in a Substack post that is every bit as cringy as it sounds.
I am writing a whole book that makes the case for the integration between body and soul. In short, our sexual dissatisfaction can be inviting us to attend to a soul dissatisfaction.
So hear me gently and pastorally whisper to you: if you are dissatisfied with your sex life, maybe it's not just about the sex.
Now, to my vibrator story.
Ah, yes, a segue that would make the Apostle Paul proud.
I have hesitated to write this post for one simple reason. I am a pastor. And I am picturing my congregants' faces reading this, as they lovingly roll their eyes at me always oversharing. I can see them laughing. "Geez, Pastor Kelly. TMI!" Too much information? Maybe. Necessary to talk about? In my humble and pastoral opinion, Absolutely.
Sexual dissatisfaction is an epidemic plaguing Christian marriages and I am here to address it.
That's what the world needs: Another women who isn't afraid to talk about sex.
I reached out to a Christian friend/mentor a few years down the road ahead of me and I told her all about the struggles I was having. She told me two things I will never forget.
1. "Talk to your husband. He loves you. He wants to know how you are feeling. He wants to please you."
2. "Get a vibrator...
I'm going to end that quote there.
One day, many years ago, I couldn't find the vibrator that I usually keep tucked away inside my bedside table. I didn't think much of it until I was going through my kid's backpack getting his water bottle out to refill it and I found it. I was mortified! I figured he thought it was a toy and took it for show and tell! I am sure that the preschool teacher is still talking about the time that kid brought the vibrator to school. We still laugh about this story to this day.
She laughs about it! So funny, ladies and gentlemen!
I wonder how this neocharismatic church went so far off the rails. Could it be that their purpose is to "cultivate wonder" and "practice authenticity," along with mirroring Marxist DEI talking points from 2015 ... instead of existing for the purpose of glorifying Christ and making Him known?
Edmiston goes on to provide detailed points regarding what she believes to be "rampant" sexual dissatisfaction before mercifully wrapping up her article.
Addressing sexual dissatisfaction, (whether seasonal or ever-present), within marriage is a wholistic, comprehensive, lifelong work to be done in a community with safe people.
Do you have other tips?
Why, yes, since you asked. Here's a tip: DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR KID TAKING YOUR SEX TOY TO SCHOOL, especially if you're a pastor.
Another helpful tip:
Don't hire any "female" pastors.
I'll leave this woman with some advice from CS Lewis 👇
P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇
