I gotta admit, one of the things I never thought about is: "What the heck do vegans eat in jail?"

I would imagine Sam Bankman-Fried never thought about it, either. Until now, anyway.

Sam Bankman-Fried can't prepare for his upcoming trial because he's not getting his ADHD medication at a Brooklyn lockup — which is also apparently refusing to serve him vegan meals, his lawyer whined at a court hearing Tuesday.

"He's literally now subsisting on bread and water and sometimes peanut butter," Bankman-Fried's defense attorney Mark Cohen told a Manhattan federal judge.

Our man is legit getting the ol' Shawshank grain-and-drain treatment:

Well, look, not to go on and on about it, but: That's kind of how it goes. I mean, you can be vegan, that's fine. Eat your chickpeas and your soylent and live your life. And you can be a crook and a fraud and find yourself facing many years in federal prison. That is also an option.

But both? That's risky. If you combine those things — a long prison stretch and a weirdo diet — you're just asking for trouble. You gotta pick one or the other.

Even the judge in the case isn't impressed by SBF's demands, telling his lawyer:

"I'm reasonably confident they provide vegetarian options."

Surely you can pick the egg strips out of the tofu stir fry, Sam!

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