Who's your daddy?

If you said, "me," you're mistaken.

I swear, we're just a few steps away from a Google van pulling up next to your child and offering him candy.

The kid immediately told his parents because even he was creeped out.

The really creepy thing? People were praising Google and admonishing Starbuck.

Here are some representative examples.

Fun Fact: We‘re talking about a 7-year-old.

Using a school account.

"They have the right and the duty to inform their users that they are being monitored by a third party."

Mom and dad are now "third parties." Sure, they may have some legal rights, artifacts from our western nuclear family-obsessed past, but nothing compared to Google.

"of course it's google's place to tell your child they're being monitored for the *precise reason* that you could decide not to tell them!"

They are the ones we can truly trust to have your child's best interests at heart.

You? Have you attended your Critical Race Training seminar yet?

This is a school account. I'd guess about 999,999 out of a million parents are looking to see if their 7-year-old child finished his Jamestown diorama and not looking to see if he‘s hunting for a woman's shelter.

This is a personal opinion, but this is a good illustration of people who confuse being a parent with being a friend.

I told my kid a long time ago that I'm not interested in being his friend. He'll have plenty of those in his life.

But he‘ll only ever have one father.

I hope!

(And yes, you can be both, particularly later in life.)

Is it too paranoid to view this as yet another usurpation of parental authority and intervention in the sanctity of the nuclear family?

Oh, we are WAY past that and have been for a long time.