I myself was not unhappy until I read this story.

A salon owner in England ran an ad with a job agency because she's looking for a new part-time hairdresser.

Like any completely normal salon owner might do, she included this qualification for potential hires:

"This is a busy, friendly, small salon, so only happy, friendly stylists need apply."

You know what happened next because you read the headline, so here's her retelling of the insane event, made even more entertaining by the delightful Britishness of it:

Stop the planet; I want off.