You may have been under the impression that the end of Roe v. Wade would simply mean that abortion regulation would be returned to the states, and that maybe—somewhere down the line—we'd finally see an end to abortion in the United States.
But you're wrong. You're so wrong. You never knew how wrong you were.
Here, a brief rundown of all the things liberals definitely know is going to happen if Roe v. Wade is truly overturned:
1. "LGBTQ children" will be kicked out of the classroom.
There's actually no such thing as "LGBTQ children," at least insofar as little kids can't, and shouldn't be expected to, have any grasp of what sexuality actually is. But President Joe Biden nevertheless believes that these poor kids are going to be, I don't know, forced to go to class in a trailer or something? Thanks for the heads-up, Joe.
2. Interracial marriage will be once again outlawed.
Are you confused? So am I. So is Eric Swalwell, plainly, but you already knew that. I had no idea that the right to kill unborn children was propped up by the right of mixed-race couples to get married. Someone should have probably noted that in a constitutional history book somewhere.
3. Gay marriage will be re-banned.
Yep, a completely unrelated Supreme Court decision issued 42 years after Roe v. Wade will be deep-sixed if the Supreme Court returns abortion regulation to individual states. That is a thing that is definitely going to happen. Blake Johnson is onto us, y'all.
4. Fascism will come to America.
She means "totalitarianism," of course, or maybe "tyranny." As most people who are not Joy Behar know, "fascism" is defined in no small part as an ultra-strict, highly regimented ordering of socio-political power and authority—kind of the literal exact opposite of, you know, returning key regulatory oversight to 50 separate state jurisdictions.
5. Slavery will come back.
Ahh okay, so repealing a broke, fraudulent, obviously absurd 1973 Supreme Court ruling about abortion will somehow...repeal the 13th Amendment? Look, I dunno if y'all have ever read the 13th Amendment. It's literally like the simplest amendment in the entire Constitution. There is absolutely no confusion over it. But sure, banning abortion will somehow lead justices to ignore it and re-institute chattel slavery in the U.S.
Good to have some advance warning on that.
6. Literally everything.
Overturning Roe v. Wade will overturn everything. Nothing will be left standing. All will be overturned. We'll become the United States of Overturnia. None shall escape the Great Overturning.
Get ready, folks, it's gonna be a wild ride!
P.S. Now check out our latest video: "Highlights from Biden's speech last night" 👇