Here are some lunch ideas for Twitter employees as Elon Musk prepares to pull the plug on the free food bonanza at HQ
· Nov 15, 2022 ·

You just hate to see people suffering like this:

Twitter workers who survived the chopping block after Elon Musk overpaid for the social media site will soon have to pay for their own meals.

The billionaire said he will scrap the free meals served at Twitter's headquarters in San Francisco because it was costing the company around $400 per worker.

And you know what, I get the angst over this. I understand why Twitter employees might be anxious about having to make their own lunch. I mean, look, lunch, it might be the hardest meal of the day. With breakfast you can just do eggs, toast, a smoothie, whatever. Dinner is a free-for-all.'s somewhere in between, isn't it? It's hard to know what to do with lunch.

So here are some suggestions for Twitter workers who suddenly find themselves needing to slap together a good old-fashioned brown-bagger every day:

Peanut butter and jelly.

This is a good meal. Solid. Reliable. You got the peanut butter, you got the jelly. That's pretty much it. But it's savory and sweet, and the bread is nice too. It's good.

Leftover chicken.

Did you make some chicken last night? Here's a game-changer for you: However much of the chicken you didn't eat last night, put that in a box of some kind and take it to work and eat it there. Boom, game-changer.

A noodle of some kind.

A noodle might seem like a boring menu item. Heck, what is it: pasta, water? That's not exciting. But check this out: If you cook it, and put sauce on it — boom, another game-changer.

Put some tomato sauce on it, mayonnaise, some wasabi, I mean just go nuts.

Heck, throw some nuts in there too! That's what they do in Sicily.

One of those kid-sized boxes of cereal we used to eat when we were kids.

Remember those? They were fun. Little boxes of cereal like they were made just for you and nobody else.

It was always a good day when mom brought those home from the grocery store; she didn't do it often because she said the sugary stuff wasn't good for you.

Well, I've got news for you, amigo: You're an adult now and you can buy whatever the heck you want. Buy an 18-pack of these babies and munch on them all month long. Instant lunch.

Ritz crackers with slices of apple and cheddar.

This one has a lot going for it. There's a lot going on here.

Apples are good, and so is cheese – and if we're being honest, Ritz is good too.

Plus, when you whip a platter of these out for lunch, it looks like you're hosting a little party at your cubicle. Elon might just swing on by for a bite, then you guys could hang for a bit. Boom, instant promotion, maybe.

It's a big lunch world out there! Good luck, Twitter folks!

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