Video: Word-faith heretic Kenneth Copeland leads his flock in yelling, "Bald spots I call you gone! Hair grow!"

Here's arch-heretic Kenneth Copeland showing you how to command your baldness away.

I gotta tell you, as a self-identified balding-American, I felt that.

Promises of health? Nah. Wealth? Pass. But to have back my youthful mane? That's tempting to believe...

Okay, nevermind.

It passed.

I'll stick with believing the true gospel of Jesus Christ; that gospel that actually saves.