Casey's General Store is the fifth largest pizza chain in the United States, and the third largest convenience store.
The chain has a 17-state footprint, so they have lots of jobs that need filling at any given moment, from being a team member running a register, to driving fuel trucks, to doing their books.
But what Casey's really, really needs right now is someone to eat pizza and drink beer, professionally.
A new C-Suite position has just opened titled "Chief Pizza and Beer Officer," which may be the most American job title I've ever heard of.
Here's the description:
"Casey's, the Official Pizza & Beer Headquarters, is looking to appoint our first Chief Pizza & Beer Officer. This esteemed position will elevate the experience of enjoying pizza and beer together by finding, sampling, and pairing our pizza with the best beer at Casey's.
The Chief Pizza & Beer Officer role is an incredibly prestigious, very real, and delicious job and the selected candidate will immerse themselves in all things pizza & beer. Through this experience, the Chief Pizza & Beer Officer will craft compelling social content that engages our audiences and inspires them to eat pizza & drink beer from Casey's."
Could you imagine people's faces when they ask what you do for a living, and you say, "I eat pizza and drink beer."
"Anything else?"
"Nope."
So, what are the job qualifications for being a CPBO?
Here's the official list:
- Be a proven professional: someone who LOVES to eat Casey's pizza and drink beer.
- Have pizza stamina: strong enough to continue eating pizza even when you've eaten it every day for a month.
- Have task prioritization and goal achievement: finding and creating the best possible pizza and beer combinations for our guests.
- Have leadership skills: Lead a team of one (you) of highly motivated pizza and beer lovers.
- Be a beacon of integrity: willing to undergo a background check.
- Be of legal age: you'll be consuming beer responsibly, so you'll need to be 25+ years old.
- Reside somewhere in Casey's Country: Our 17-state footprint across the Midwest and South.
I have no idea what the salary is, and it looks like it's a contract position that runs from February 1 to May 31, 2024, but four months of getting paid to eat pizza and drink beer is better than none.
Sound like something you would be interested in?
Here are some of the hoops you'll have to jump through in filling out the application.
Answer a poll like this one:
Write essays like this one:
Tell us about a problem you solved with pizza and beer.
And show off your artistic talent:
Draw a picture of yourself as our Chief Pizza & Beer Officer.
Finally, and while this last caveat isn't specifically mentioned anywhere in the announcement or application, I think we all know it goes without saying:
Pineapple pizza people need not apply.
P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇
