In a loss for millennial mollycoddles everywhere, the Supreme Court of Italy ruled this week that adult children are not entitled to indefinite support from their parents.
In recent decades, the number of Italian children who have failed to launch has skyrocketed (an ironic choice of words, indeed), with 64.3% of of 18- to 34-year-olds still living with mom and dad.
The trend is so common that a term has been created for these sad little chicks and their failure to leave the nest: "bamboccioni," which aptly means "big babies." The term was coined in 2007 by Tommasso Padoa-Schioppa, a Minister of Economy and Finance.
The first to feel the sting of the Supreme Court's decision is a 35-year-old man, who took his parents to court 5 years ago, demanding like a toddler that his mommy and daddy owed him an allowance because the world is scary and that his gig as a part-time teacher only paid him $24k a year.
At that time, in a ruling that only makes sense in the weird insanity of the 21st century, an Italian court listened to his adolescent tantrum and decided his big meany parents owed him nearly $400 a month... indefinitely.
After five years of his shenanigans, however, it seems the man's ambitions of being a living Ferris Beuller were dashed. In a move that would make Dr. Jordan B. Peterson proud, the highest court in the land finally rolled up its sleeves, drew a line in the sand, and said, "Tough luck, bucko. Life is tragic. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and accept the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood, where finitude and mortality are only dimly comprehended."
(In reality, the court said he "needed to reduce his adolescent ambitions," but I really wanted a Jordan Peterson reference. 😉😁 If you don't know who that is, go to YouTube and enjoy).
According to the head of the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers, Gian Ettore Gassani, 1 in 3 divorces in Italy are related to supporting adult children. In an interview with CNN, Gassani celebrated the decision:
"Young people must be more courageous, must find the will to take risks, but that's difficult if your mum keeps on bringing you a cup of coffee to bed every morning," Gassani said.
Sadly, some experts (probably) say that stores that provide kombucha, avocado toast, and the latest man-bun styles will likely go out of business as the nation's basement dwelling bamboccioni are forced to get jobs and do something productive with their lives. Sad!
