Yes, someone actually swiped a 50-pound hydraulic tool designed to save people from mangled wrecks. Because, apparently, in Oakland, even the tools that save lives aren't safe.

After the firefighters used the Jaws of Life during an evening rescue in the 1600 block of West Street, the tool disappeared.

Police haven't released any information about the suspects, but rumor has it they might be seen carrying a massive 50-pound hydraulic tool.

Can Oakland become more of a parody at this point? How does a satirist even keep up with reality anymore?

It's like the ultimate Oakland experience: You can't even save a life without being robbed.

And if you're wondering why thieves would want the Jaws of Life 👇

Follow Ian on Substack or X (@ighaworth).

P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇