Joe Biden will use an "army of influencers" to help his ancient behind win the White House in 2024. Let the Meme Wars begin.
· Apr 11, 2023 ·

Many of us are wondering how Joe Biden — a man who experts estimate is at least 7,500 years old and who at times seems to forget that he himself even exists — could possibly hope to mount another successful run for the White House in 2024.

Well, joke's on us, because Delaware Joe has a few tricks up his sleeve yet. Among them: A social media operation guaranteed to usher him to victory next year.

President Biden's not-yet-official bid for re-election will lean on hundreds of social media "influencers" who will tout Biden's record — and soon may have their own briefing room at the White House, Axios has learned.

That's right: Joe is turning to social media stars, the most insufferable demographic of human being ever created, in order to increase his clout among the youth.

And who are the luminous young Internet stars to whom he's looking for help? For starters, he's enlisting Harry Sisson, a man who has made a literal career yelling at a camera in a rotating succession of T-shirts and hoodies:

Yesiree, nothing's guaranteed to get out that Millennial vote than a guy who gesticulates like he's waving a plane up to the jetbridge!

Also on the list: Vivian Tu, a young lady who — I'm not sure — gives financial advice, I think? Maybe? Really not sure about this one.

This 28-year-old woman gives advice with the same energy and enthusiasm as a 50-year-old on public access television in 1995. But yes she will definitely get the ol' youthers to the polls.

And though he's not officially confirmed as such, I would bet the rent money that Dylan Mulvaney will be on the list of "influencers" Joe Biden is hoping will influence 18-year-olds to go vote for him.

Meanwhile, the 2024 season hasn't really even begun yet and already the TikTokkers are getting bold enough to make demands:

"We actually asked the White House, 'When are we going to get press briefing passes?' "said Sisson, who has 660,000 followers on TikTok.

Good luck, Joe, you're going to need it!

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