Bro, I can't.

In case you think this nomination is a lie, here's a link to the actual list.

Yup, there's Rachel a few spots down from our wonderful Vice President.

So, uh…yeah…

Happy womxn's—womynx?—you know what, let's just go with Happy Women's Month.

Happy Women's Month, people!

Now an important month for men too, apparently.

I'm just surprised Lia Thomas isn't on this list.

Probably that macho macho trans wo-man will win Female Athlete of the Year.

For now we'll settle with Admiral Rachel Levine, who is definitely a 100% drop-dead gorgeous female based on that image above.

Totally a woman. A Woman of the Year!

Okay I'm sorry, but when is this stuff going to stop?

Because I feel like even the people who are taking this seriously are doing it with their fingers crossed. Like, they know. They're just pretending not to know.

The stuff's awkward.

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