Okay this is a story:

Gotta love Chicago!!

So this dude Kyle Clark, he's cruising along Lake Shore Drive around midnight in his little black Jetta and all the sudden he sideswipes another car.

Unfortunately for Clark, there was an off-duty police officer in the car who soon identified himself as a police officer and told him to pull over so they could file a crash report. The off-duty officer also had a friend along in his vehicle.

Here's where things get interesting…

When the three men exited the vehicles, stuff went off: Clark allegedly punched the off-duty police officer in the face twice and then when his buddy tried to step in Clark straight up bit the guy's nipple off.

OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

You're feeling the pain right now, aren't you?

It's excruciating. And it didn't even happen to you.

I cannot imagine this. Well, I can. And I have goosebumps. But I don't want to imagine it anymore.

Please erase this thought from my brain!

Okay, back to the story:

The police soon arrived, and after some struggle they were able to get Clark into one of their cars.

Clark was booked into the Cook County Jail on Sunday with a lead charge of aggravated assault on a peace officer … He was being held on $100,000 bond.

Clark was also charged with aggravated battery causing great bodily harm, aggravated unlawful use of a weapon, and leaving the scene of a property damage accident, the outlet reported. He reportedly has three previous convictions for aggravated battery of peace officers.

No word yet on the nipple, but the one-nippled man was taken to a hospital for treatment.

I hope he gets his nipple back. 🎯😭

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P.S. While you're here, treat yourself to the latest awesome video from our CEO Adam Ford about Rashida Tlaib getting busted partying maskless with tons of people after flaming Rand Paul over the same thing 👇