The loons that run deep-blue Massachusetts don't like having an Algonquian Native American on their flag, so they created a commission to destroy it. While they're at it, they figured they'd destroy the state's historical motto and seal too.
And by destroy, I mean give the full and complete Cracker Barrel treatment.
Here was the original flag:
And according to Boston's WCVB, here are the three finalists being voted on to erase the native:
Some other notable entries:
The state mottos are just as bad, especially when you consider the original (I translated): "By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty."
Here they are:
Multae voces, una res publica ā Many voices, One Commonwealth
We honor all life guided by the First Light
Bono publico laetamur ā We rejoice in the public good
You have to love the Hot Fuzz vibes of that last one.
Here are the options for the new seal:
And while all that silliness is good for a point-at-the-morons-and-laugh story, the real humor can be found in the submissions they didn't pick, which the Massachusetts government has made publicly available.
Flags (I made up the names):
I Spy With My Little Eye
Things to Eat in Massachusetts
For the GeographIcally Challenged
The Jordan Peterson Lobstah!
Laser whales
Dunkin' Dinosaurs
Myspace has entered the chat
And my favorite ā Pilgrim Shark
Sing it to the tune of "Baby Shark" and they can have a new state anthem as well!
Pilgrim shark, doot do da do do do!
Mottos:
In Cod We Trust
We're Always Right
Massachusetts: The Gateway to New Hampshire
Where Republicans Go To Become Democrats
Massachusetts: The France of the 80s
Massachusetts: Witch Free since 1693
And my favorite
Massachusetts: Providing Spelling Bee Fodder For The Ages
YUP...
Shout out to Not the Bee user @gwen42 for the heads up about this story
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