Ladies and gentlemen, the time has arrived. It's time for the Father of America himself to be canceled.
Yes, that great man who brought us victory over the British in the Revolutionary War, kept our country together in its founding, and was unanimously voted our nation's first president, where he set an example for all future presidents to come.
That guy, George Washington, is on his way to cancellation in the U.S. mainstream.
This is how far we've come, people!
I know, I know, we saw this coming a mile away. And people thought we were crazy just five short years ago when we said, "Hey, you know right now they're coming after the Confederate flag, Confederate statues, and all that, but give it a few years and it'll be the American flag and George Washington."
But look, here we are.
Check out this amazing arc:
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And all those liberals who laughed at you because you were so stupid to think that George Washington would be canceled someday, they're reading The Washington Post and thinking to themselves, "Yeah, you know what? I think we should cancel George Washington. That's a great idea!" This is because they're mindless buffoons who don't think for themselves. They let Amazon do their thinking for them.
Here's a little text from the above article:
There are at least four ways [George Washington University] could achieve progress: Decolonized university curriculum, increased Black enrollment, the renaming of the university and the selection of an African American President…
But it's not just the university's name that's a problem. Just blocks from the main campus is the Mount Vernon Campus, named for George Washington's former slave plantation. Every day, hundreds of Black students walk on a campus named after an enslaver of men and study at a site named after dark parts of history. Such sites, among other locations and buildings, are touted as glorified mementos here at GW...
The controversial Winston Churchill Library must go. The university's contentious colonial moniker must go. Even the university's name, mascot and motto — "Hail Thee George Washington"— must be replaced.
Okay, with those four progressive ideas up top there, sure, I'm okay with more black students as well as a black president. That's cool. But when you say "decolonization of curriculum" all you really mean is ridding the texts of any input from white scholars and replacing it with words from scholars of color. Also, you wish to rid the curriculum of Western thought, including the idea that science and reason are trusted pathways to knowledge. We know your game.
And honestly, you really think people are going to fall for this "Cancel George Washington" hogwash?
Get a life, dude.
I can't with The Washington Post.
And let me ask this: If The Washington Post is so progressive that they're willing to push for the renaming of George Washington University, then why don't they change their name?
I think The Amazon Post would do.
Better change it!
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