"Smart toilets" are apparently the next big thing just in case you want Big Tech monitoring your butt too

Sep 5th

You've got a smart phone, maybe a smart fridge, possibly even one of those smart thermostats that reads your brain waves and adjusts the temperature accordingly. But what about a smart toilet? Did you ever consider such a thing? No? Okay that's fair.

Researchers and companies are developing high-tech toilets that go beyond adding smart speakers or a heated seat. These smart facilities are designed to look out for signs of gastrointestinal disease, monitor blood pressure or tell you that you need to eat more fish, all from the comfort of your personal throne...

Some smart toilets are geared toward helping doctors monitor patients with chronic conditions or heightened risk for certain diseases, whereas other companies aim to sell the toilets—with price tags in the hundreds or thousands of dollars—directly to consumers as a tool to track or improve their own health and wellness.

Let's be honest here: There are a lot better ways to "track or improve [your] own health and wellness" than upgrading your toilet to Skynet. It's just not necessary. This has got to stop somewhere. So much of modern technology these days is geared toward ever-more-exacting ways that people can manage their health down to the most excruciating minutiae. It's not fun and it's arguably not even that healthy.

Also, it's just kinda weird. To each his own, of course, but using your toilet as a consumer-level health tool is just pretty weird.

Keep your tech off my butt!


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