I hope this article is satirical but maybe it's not, and if it is it fails horribly in its execution. Here's why.

Jan 14th

Let's uh, talk about whatever in the heck this is:

This is apparently not satire. Or maybe it is.

If California is ever going to achieve true equity, the state must require parents to give away their children.

Today's Californians often hold up equity — the goal of a just society completely free from bias — as our greatest value. Gov. Gavin Newsom makes decisions through "an equity lens." Institutions from dance ensembles to tech companies have publicly pledged themselves to equity.

But their promises are no match for the power of parents.

Is this dude harnessing his inner Jonathan Swift, or has he absolutely lost his mind?

My solution — making raising your own children illegal — is simple, and while we wait for the legislation to pass, we can act now: the rich and poor should trade kids, and homeowners might swap children with their homeless neighbors.

Now, I recognize that some naysayers will dismiss such a policy as ghastly, even totalitarian. But my proposal is quite modest, a fusion of traditional philosophy and today's most common political obsessions.

Is he trolling us by putting "modest" and "proposal" in the same sentence?

I really want to believe so.

The left's introduction of anti-racism and gender identity in schools faces a bitter backlash from parents. Ending parenthood would end the backlash, helping dismantle white supremacy and outdated gender norms. Democrats also would have the opportunity to build a new pillar of the safety net — a child-raising system called "Foster Care for All."

He says since Republicans put kids in cages at the border (something Obama definitely didn't do and Biden hasn't continued at FAR higher rates), they should be on board with this. After all, true equity is allowing sex traffickers to bring children into a nation with the goal of selling their bodies.

Oh, he also says something nonsensical about abortion and adoption, because preventing the murder of a child and encouraging voluntary adoption is the same as the State taking your baby.

Perhaps such coercion sounds dystopian. But just imagine the solidarity that universal orphanhood would create. Wouldn't children, raised in one system, find it easier to collaborate on global problems?

Here's the logic:

  1. The State is the ultimate authority.
  2. The State is trying to teach kids to be better (AKA conforming to the things I believe are true and define reality).
  3. Parents are standing in the way of what the State and I want kids to be.
  4. Therefore, children must be removed from their parents.

It's a scary thing.

I feel like I've seen it before.

Huh. Makes you wonder if there's been any system of forced collectivism in the last century where the government has stripped people's rights and property to redistribute things as it sees fit, then brainwashed their children as vassals of the State.

Now, I don't expect universal support for universal orphanhood. A few contrarians, lost in the empty chasm between American extremes, might object to this rational proposal on emotional grounds. They might argue that pursuing your own conception of family is fundamental to freedom.

They also may suggest that people don't really want to start or finish at the same point in life.

They may even say that what we really desire is what the title orphan of the musical Annie demanded: "I didn't want to be just another orphan, Mr. Warbucks. I wanted to believe I was special."

But don't pay those critics any mind. Because they just can't see how our relentless pursuit of equity might birth a brave new world.

Yeah, a brave new world alright!

Here's what I think: I think this is an example of the Left trying to meme.

The author, Joe Matthews, is nearly as lefty as they come, but I think he's trying to be witty and satirical here. At least, that's what I sincerely hope.

The problem is, if he's trying to be satirical, he's failing horribly. He's spouting off ideas that are actually believed by the woke Left (unlike Swift's masterpiece, where no one wanted babies to be eaten), and he's completely misrepresenting the conservative view on things like immigration and abortion. No one really knows what his point is as a result.

It comes off as a face plant into concrete in its execution.

Or... else he's being serious.

In which case, I expect Gavin Newsom to take up the idea and declare it law by 2023!

P.S. Now treat yourself to our viral video "How to speak Bidenese" 😁👇

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