Look, I'm just gonna get it out of the way: I'm a reformer who was a Catholic priest before I met with some red-pilled, based brothers like John Calvin, watched my good friend George Wishart be burned at the stake by a Catholic bishop, and finally denounced the corruption of Rome.

You may recall that I called Bloody Mary "most odious in the presence of God" and "a traitress and rebel against God," and that I'm a bit of a firebrand. I once had an assassin fire a gun (which was a new invention at that time) through my window, hoping to hit me in my sitting chair.

I had a particular hatred for unjust, tyrannical rulers. After all, I once told Bloody Mary to her face, "The sword of justice is God's, and if princes and rulers fail to use it, others may."

And if that all wasn't enough, I have fiery Scottish blood running through my veins. So if you came here thinking you wouldn't be offended, think again.

With that introduction (buckle up), I need to talk about this recent article about thousands of baptisms being "invalid" because a Catholic priest got his wording wrong:

A priest in Arizona resigned after he incorrectly performed baptisms for decades, possibly derailing the rite for thousands of people.

The Catholic Diocese of Phoenix on its website confirmed Fr. Andres Arango used the words "we baptize you in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit," instead of the correct phrase "I baptize you in the name of the father [sic] and of the son [sic] and of the Holy Spirit" in English and Spanish.

The diocese explained that the single incorrect word matters for worshippers because "it is not the community that baptizes a person and incorporates them into the Church of Christ; rather, it is Christ, and Christ alone, who presides at all sacraments."

"Therefore, it is Christ who baptizes," the diocese said. "If you were baptized using the wrong words, that means your baptism is invalid, and you are not baptized."

Ah, I didn't realize that the God who made those billions of solar systems in the skies above could be thwarted by the use of the wrong pronouns!

By the way, this could affect the validity of marriages in the Catholic Church's eyes.

But I'm sure the LGBT crowd is happy to hear that the Diocese of Phoenix is obsessed with pronouns!

On its face, there's some truth to what the diocese is saying. Regardless of the massive differences in theology here, all Christians would believe that you are baptized into Christ, and that the one baptizing does so as a representative of Christ, not the wider Christian community.

If this priest had baptized in the name of Ibram X. Kendi, Justin Castro, and LeFlop James, there would be some serious cause for concern. But the expressed intent was to baptize into the Body of Christ in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Boy, I hope the apostles made sure to mind the exact wording of their incantations, otherwise Philip probably doomed the Ethiopian (and failed to defeat Voldemort to boot):

Imagine that this priest baptized someone into the faith on their deathbed. Is that person, who believed in their heart and professed with their lips that Jesus Christ is Lord, now in hell? Yikes!

Now, I have to point out—

[Takes a deep Protestant breath]

—that it's supremely ironic that the diocese would invoke the phrase "Christ alone" – one of the 5 Solas of the Reformation – when the Catholic Church explicitly denies that Christ is enough for salvation and instructs that one needs follow the rites and traditions of Rome's "Magisterium" in order to have the slightest hope of eternity with our Father in heaven above.

Arango has resigned as pastor of St. Gregory Parish in Phoenix.

"I deeply regret my error and how this has affected numerous people in your parish and elsewhere," he said in a statement. "With the help of the Holy Spirit and in communion with the Diocese of Phoenix, I will dedicate my energy and full time ministry to help remedy this and heal those affected."

He has nothing to apologize for. If he professes Christ, who died once for all, his sins are already remedied. The only wrongdoing here was ruining this man's career and heaping coals of shame upon him for something that wasn't a sin.

• Isn't it tiresome to believe you need continual penance to keep getting back into God's good graces, instead of the unbelievable peace found in the amazing grace that covers all wrongs?
• Isn't it hard to follow laborious traditions with uber-specific magical wording that nullify the Word of God – you know, instead of resting in the power and presence of Jesus, who declared "it is finished"?
• Isn't it hard to keep on with the practice of self-flagellation and imposed guilt, instead of resting in the knowledge that "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"?

Anyway, I've got to go ruffle some feathers somewhere else while the comment section explodes, so Soli Deo Gloria, y'all!

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