Don't worry though: Critical Race Theory isn't being taught outside of elective courses at the college level!

Yes, this is a real book.

Here's the description:

Written by a clinical social worker and child therapist with experience in anti-bias training and edited by a diversity expert, Race Cars tells the story of 2 best friends, a white car and a black car, that have different experiences and face different rules while entering the same race.

Filled with bright, attention-grabbing illustrations, a notes and activities section at the back helps parents, guardians, and teachers further discuss these issues with children.

Why is this book important? As early as 6 months old, a baby's brain can notice race-based differences; children ages 2 to 4 can internalize racial bias and start assigning meaning to race; and 5- to 8-year-olds begin to place value judgments on similarities and differences. By age 12, children have a complete set of stereotypes about every racial, ethnic, and religious group in society. Our guidance is especially crucial during this impressionable time.

Race Cars offers a simple, yet powerful, way to introduce these complicated themes to our children and is a valuable addition to classroom and home libraries.

This seems like a totally normal and definitely-not-ideological book to be sending home with elementary kids.

Here's the top review:

I am a "person of color" and I would never have contaminated my children's minds with this racist garbage. All this book does is tell children who are not white they can't make it with effort and hard work - a patently false statement - and lumps all white children into a bizarre grouping that makes no distinction between the black child of a doctor and a teacher and the white child of two minimum wage workers. A real disservice to all children of all races.

Like I said: TOTALLY NOT IDEOLOGICAL.

Let's look inside the book, shall we?

See if this seems like appropriate material for a 7-year-old, and assess if you think this will lead to more or less division among our kids.

Meet Chase, a black car, and Ace, a white race car:

Already the analogy is breaking down here.

Not a single person cares about the color of a car when it's on the track.

Wanna know why?

Because the only thing that matters is how fast the car is.

But wait, it gets better:

Again, cars might not be the best analogy for differences between people, because the fastest cars are always going to be engineered to look a certain way (unless you think atmospheric drag, gravity, combustion engines, and Newtonian physics are all racist).

Here's the central conflict of the plot:

Again, the analogy here is pretty dumb.

Are they implying that there are no important "placing" contributors to American history except those with white skin, because it seems to me that I grew up learning about Frederick Douglass, George Washington Carver, Booker T. Washington, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr., the all-black 54th Massachusetts Infantry Regiment, and Harriet Tubman – and all these from the period before Democrats like Al Gore's dad tried to filibuster the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

This book is asserting that nothing has changed in America.

"They loved to race and did not care about place."

This sounds so nice, but let me run you through a few scenarios.

• Say that a football team decides it doesn't care about winning. How fast until the entire coaching team is fired?
• Say that you ordered a new pair of gloves and the company told you there'd be a month delay because it's employees just wanted to relax and have fun. How fast would you cancel your order?
• Say that you had to wait 45 minutes for a cup of coffee, but you were assured it was made by a transgender person of color. How little would that last detail matter while you demanded a refund?

In the case of our cars, "Chase" and "Ace" would quickly lose their sponsors if they aren't even trying to place, leaving them as hollowed-out rust buckets in some dump.

But like I said at the beginning, Critical Race Theory is just imaginary and it definitely isn't being taught to your kids, so shut up you testy parents!