If there's a problem with a government document — an error on a birth certificate, for instance — it seems like it should be pretty simple to get it fixed, right?
Just call up the government, ask them to fix it, and then — boom. Right?
Unfortunately, the government just doesn't like things that simple. Case in point: This young lady out of Nebraska.
A Nebraska man is fighting to get a Social Security number and valid birth certificate for his toddler, Caroline — whose name is incorrectly listed in state records as "Unakite Thirteen Hotel."
Jason Kilburn, who lives outside of Omaha, has been desperately trying to obtain a Social Security card and a useable birth certificate for Caroline. Without these documents, he said, he has been unable to get any services for her, from health insurance to child care, because they all require a Social Security number to verify her identity.
"Unakite Thirteen Hotel"?
It is a made-up name: Specifically it was a "computer-generated name" the government slapped on the birth certificate for some reason.
To be sure, the young lady's early life has been a bit chaotic. She was born to a mother in Iowa who immediately gave her up to foster parents; she was ultimately placed with Kilburn, the father. He and the mother "had dated on and off for several years but were not together when she gave birth."
Evidently, in the time leading up to her placement with foster parents, "instead of a birth certificate, the girl had received only a certificate of live birth," with the bizarre name on it. Kilburn's lawyer said the process is "a circuitous, bureaucratic loop."
Amazingly — or maybe not so amazingly, it is government, after all — the bureaucracy said it needed to use the girl's fake name to get her a real name:
In March 2023, the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services filed a motion in juvenile court in Douglas County, Nebraska, seeking a court order 'allowing NDHHS to establish a legal name for the above-named minor child as Unakite Thirteen Hotel' so it could temporarily use her incorrect name to get an official birth certificate that it planned to use to get her a Social Security number.
The government did indeed issue the birth certificate with the bogus name, but — of course! — "the agency never followed through with getting her a Social Security number." A court subsequently denied Kilburn's request to reopen the matter.
In the meantime, as the idiotic process gets dealt with by inept government workers, Kilburn can't access any government benefits for his daughter, which is causing its own series of headaches.
However, the young lady is reportedly doing well nonetheless:
'She's a joy to be around,' he said. 'She doesn't show signs of any trauma from any of this.'
This should be an easy fix. Hope the government can figure out how to do it.
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