Things that make you go: What in the world?
In 2021, Kira Benson, a violinist living in Seattle, knew it was time to get a divorce. Ending their two-year 'lavender marriage' wasn't an easy decision, but the musician had a supportive ally. 'If you have to dump your ex-husband,' Mx. Benson said, 'co-dump him with his mistress.'
Hey, I said I would make it easier to read, not easier to understand.
We only got into the second sentence of the story before things turned crazy.
This was written in The Times (with a presumably straight face, by the way). 👇
Before the breakup, Mx. Benson, 27, who uses the pronoun they, checked in with their therapist, who said a divorce would be a 'good choice.' Out of queer solidarity, they informed their husband's 'mistress' — this was kosher in Mx. Benson's arrangement, which was not a legal marriage, but a domestic partnership — about their shared partner's troubling behavior. The night of the breakup, Mx. Benson and the mistress spent a cozy evening together: 'We were eating a lot of comfort food, playing a lot of Animal Crossing.'
A non-binary person (presumably a lady) in a not-legal "lavender marriage" got "divorced" from her "husband" and then took the husband's mistress, who was part of the "marriage," with her in a show of "queer solidarity."
After featuring this non-binary throuple as the example for all of Gen Z, The Times went on to feature a ... social media influencer ... as another example of Gen Z.
Michel Janse, a 28-year-old content creator in Oceanside, Calif., is particularly vocal about being vocal about her divorce. When she needs to prepare a synopsis of her videos for a channel description — a task that demands a squirm-inducing combination of self-reflection and brevity — Ms. Janse often goes with 'I found love after divorce.'
'It's one of the sentences that just summarizes the whole picture of what I've vlogged over the years,' she said. Ms. Janse said that even after she remarried last year, the identity of divorcée felt like an important part of who she is.
Adding "divorcée" to the growing list of woke identities might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard 😂
For more insight (and seemingly to brag?), The Times - again, the most preeminent newspaper in the Western world - turned to a "29-year-old sex writer in London" for expert testimony.
Whether it's young divorce generally, or Gen Z divorce specifically, in 2025, splits often feel less like scandals and more like rebrands. Megan Wallace, a 29-year-old sex writer in London who reports on the mating rituals of Gen Z, cites two divorce inspiration figures for this generation: the actress Sophie Turner and the model Emily Ratajkowski, who created 'divorce rings' out of her engagement ring. According to Mx. Wallace, both Ms. Turner and Ms. Ratajkowski emerged from their divorces as people newly and entirely themselves.
Jackie Combs, a family law and divorce lawyer who worked with Ms. Ratajkowski, maintains that 'the taboo of getting divorced is long gone.' 'Individuals are more willing to consider this as just a transition in their relationship and a new chapter, rather than feel the guilt and shame,' she said.
Forsaking your vows is just a "rebrand" for Gen Z?
The paper of record then quoted several 20-something women who embrace their "identity" as divorcées, but felt that maybe, you know, divorce shouldn't be treated so casually (a wild idea!).
The Times couldn't help but return over and over to "Mx. Wallace," however.
'To be able to explore your personal autonomy through sexual experiences, solo or as a couple, I do think that makes it much less frightening,' Mx. Wallace said.
It's not The Onion, and it's Not the Bee.
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