Well, it's a Brave New World out there, folks, and someone's gotta tell you about it. Here's where I got the scoop:

Polyamory, these big city publications want you to know, is the "in" thing right now. Seriously.

The New York Times, USA Today, New York Magazine — all of these publications are pushing polyamory on us.

Let's define the term so we're all on the same page here:

Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.

So yeah, it's swinging, or an "open relationship," or one of those weird LGBTQIA+ partnerships where there's like five of them, and they all pretend to be in love.

I'll quote from just one of those stories, because this is just too creepy (and the other two are behind paywalls).

From USA Today:

Open relationships are having a moment. Polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and similar terms are becoming a bigger part of our cultural lexicon. But perhaps the most-known type of open relationship is swinging − and swingers are having a moment too.

"Open relationships are having a moment."

We're nearing the end, folks.

All these new sexual trends — the T and the Q, the "Minor Attracted People," and polyamory — these are things that will undoubtedly move us backward, not progress us forward. These are signs of man's depravity. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a snake.

Satan, it seems, is alive and well. Time to buck up, America, and start walking that path which leads to goodness.

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