Man, if I had thought of this hack back in my day I'd have been #1 in so many sports I wouldn't have known what to do with myself.

Instead, I rode the bench in basketball, barely placed like one time in track, and nearly drowned in the pool at the YMCA. And to think I could've been something special, like this kid.

Watch:

MAN, THAT *WOMAN* CAN FLY!!!

Yup, good ol' Sadie Schreiner of the Rochester Institute of Technology is out here making noise in the world of women's sports. And he — or, uhh, she — is just shredding the competition.

Schreiner set two school records for women's sports last week, 40.78 seconds in the 300 meter and 25.27 seconds in the 200 meter.

Last month (seriously, just one month ago), Schreiner set a record 300 meter pace of 41.80 seconds, meaning he's competing against himself at this point.

Sadie Schreiner, formerly known as Camden, set a new record at a collegiate track and field competition at Nazareth University in New York on Dec. 8. Schreiner dominated female competitors in the 300m race, coming in at 41.80 seconds …

Schreiner made the record-breaking finish at the expense of Houghton University freshman Victoria 'Tori' Brewster who came in third, and sophomore SUNY Genesco runner Brynn Mooney who came in second by .86 seconds.

Out here setting school records!!!

By the way, that time in December would've earned Schreiner 41st place in the men's competition. Just a side note.

Seriously though, don't ever let them tell you that this is not happening. It's happening all across our nation — across the globe even — and there are no signs of it ending.

Men will continue to dominate women's sports until women stand up and do something about it. Stop competing against men, ladies!

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