Around 2 A.M., Tennessee man Reginald Cook tried to rob the Shell convenience store on Elvis Presley in Memphis, Tennessee.
At first, Cook came into the store and just demanded money from the register. He fiddled with his hoodie and backpack, leading the cashier to believe he was armed, but the cashier said, "NO!" all the same.
Frustrated, Cook left the store and came back around 30 minutes later openly carrying a weapon.
The man had a 5-foot long snake wrapped around his neck.
He shouted at the cashier, "Give me the [expletive] money," while reaching inside the backpack.
Police say that he was carrying a rock and a railroad spike inside his backpack.
I'm not sure exactly what the criminal's plan was here, but I'm pretty sure that‘s not how Rock, Paper, Scissors is played.
In the end it didn't matter.
Gun beats rock, snake, and spike.
And the cashier had one for self protection.
This was Tennessee after all, not New York or California, and unlike those bastions of crime and disorder, no money was taken and no one was hurt.
The cashier held Cook until police arrived, and the thwarted criminal was arrested and charged with two counts of Attempted Aggravated Robbery, and his bond was set at $4,000.
There's no word what happened to the snake, but the store owner says that the Cook family came in and apologized for Reginald's behavior and offered to pay for any damages.
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