Maybe you woke up this morning and thought, "It may be 2020, but today is going to be better than yesterday!"

If so, you were dreadfully wrong. No, my dear friend, the Woke Monster has struck again. This time, it's set its hungry eyes on the University of Rhode Island (URI), where administrators have announced they will remove two 70-year-old murals because of their perceived lack of diversity.

Kathy Collins, the university's VP of Student Affairs, said that staff had received numerous complaints from their #Woke students about the murals and their depiction of [whispers] white people. One can almost feel the institutional oppression engrained in every brushstroke.

"I have received complaints about the murals that portray a very homogeneous population predominately," said Collins. "The persons painted and depicted on the wall are predominantly white and that does not represent who our institution is today. Some of our students have even shared with us they didn't feel comfortable sitting in that space."

Did you hear that? Grown adults didn't feel comfortable sitting in a room with paintings that had too many white people. The university, being the bastion of reason and mental fortitude in our land (LOLZ), decided to capitulate to the fragile psyches of their precious snowflakes by removing the works of art that were putting them in such a state of distress.

Now, you may ask: what exactly were these murals depicting? Certainly, if they were overtly violent or sexual, their removal may be understood (although our culture loves those things these days). Perhaps there was a person depicted who had racist or sordid connections. Perhaps something else deemed offensive by the cancel culture had been discovered.

Nope and nope. The literal answer is that there were just too many darned white people.

The murals were painted in 1954 as a tribute to the building in which they reside – the Memorial Union. After coming home, many of these brave soldiers had enrolled at the university and thought it important to raise money for those who had given the ultimate sacrifice for their country. The Memorial Union and the murals were the result of their fundraising.

(WHITE PEOPLE)

(MOAR WHITE PEOPLE!!)

(WHITE PEOPLE... CULTURALLY APPROPRIATING!!! REEEEE!)

(😡 WHITE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 )

Arthur "Art" Sherman is the artist who painted the murals. Art, who is a WWII vet and URI alumnus himself (and served as a university staff member for 30 years), was asked to draw several murals on campus. In the Memorial Union, he decided to focus on soldiers returning home, school events, and whimsical elements of life in the '50s. He admits that he didn't have any formal education in painting (no one is arguing the pieces are the Mona Lisa), but that he loved to draw cartoons.

"It depicted that era," said Art. "A lot of students, friends of mine, would come by and say why don't you do this, why don't you do that so that's what I did so everybody chipped in."

Art's daughter, Pamela, commented on her family's frustration with the move. Pamela had the audacity to then suggest that art should be looked at through the context of its time (gasp!), and that the school would be wise to add new artwork to add to its story instead of resorting to revisionist erasure of history (double gasp!).

"It's terribly upsetting and we grew up with those murals being there," she said. "It's an opportunity for the University of Rhode Island to embrace its history, it's an opportunity for it to show a timeline, a progression and a change over decades and we never want to forget our past."

VP Kathy Collins, however, doesn't want to hear it. This is the #CurrentYear after all, and the revolution must march on.

"I think we have to recognize the horrible incidents and the tragic murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and most recently Jacob Blake in Kenosha Wisconsin during this is heightened time," said Collins. "And we as an institution have to look at the systems in place across this institution that maybe are not representing who we are today and representing the true diversity of URI today."

The murals are currently covered up until URI decides what Marxist move to make next.

And there you have it, folks.

Be careful, Kathy. You may have satiated the Woke Monster today, but tomorrow, it'll be back for you.