In a controversy that has been brewing since 1773, it seems like we've finally reached a boiling point.
A US professor went viral for suggesting she had the secret to the perfect cup of tea, adding a pinch of table salt.
This, of course, made all the snooty Brits super mad. Because they don't recognize the American Exceptionalism that started before our lads threw tea in the Boston harbor.
Here's the recipe for success according to American science:
Apparently, the snaggletooth brigade didn't care for trusting the science and got really mad about the salt. Some were mad about the lemon too.
The American embassy in London tried to smooth things over, but I don't know how well it went.
Today's media reports of an American professor's recipe for the "perfect" cup of tea has landed our special bond with the United Kingdom in hot water.
Tea is the elixir of camaraderier, a sacred bond that unites our nations. We cannot stand idly by as such an outrageous proposal threatens the very foundation of our Special Relationship.
Therefore we want to ensure the good people of the UK that the unthinkable notion of adding salt to Britain's national drink is not official United States policy and never will be.
Let us unite in our steeped solidarity and show the world that when it comes to tea, we stand as one.
Now, at this point, you'd think we're caving to the Brits.
Not so fast!
The U.S. Embassy will continue to make tea in the proper way - by microwaving it.
That's right. We know how to make tea here!
Also, if we want to be technical, the ACTUAL American way to make tea is by adding lots and lots of sugar and serving it ice cold.
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