We have reached the stage of civilizational decline where Papa John's is now offering bowls full of pizza toppings without the pizza itself
ยท Aug 18, 2022 ยท NottheBee.com

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: if Papa John's is in the business of firing people over obscenities, who the heck are they firing for this one?

Papa Johns' sales are still up, but growth is slowing. In the second quarter, sales at its North American restaurants open at least a year grew just under 1%, down from 5% in the the same period last year. In the second quarter of 2020, sales jumped 28%.

One reason for the slowdown: People may be getting tired of pizza.

"There's a general thought that there could be a little bit of pizza fatigue," Scott Rodriguez, SVP of menu strategy and innovation at Papa Johns. "Because that's all we've had for the last couple of years."

To get people excited about pizza again, Papa Johns is offering a new spin on the classic, with Papa Bowls that are all topping โ€” no crust.

Yeah, that's what'll make people "excited about pizza again:" A bowl of sloppy slop.

This marketing scheme is less about giving people a new delicious food to eat and more about catering to the one guy in your friend group who always wants to go somewhere else to eat:

Papa Johns hopes the new item will eliminate the "veto vote," when an eatery gets ruled out because it doesn't have enough options for everyone in the dining party. The idea is that if one person doesn't want pizza, the group can still go to Papa Johns and that person will still find something to eat.

Yeah, that'll go over well! "Oh yeaaah buddy, you'll like where we're eating, they'll definitely have something there you like!" Then once the food shows up they're hit with an "all topping" bowl like:

Papa John's isn't even the best chain pizza, it's obviously Pizza Hut, just stick with them!

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