Who's up for color-coded lanyards for the workplace indicating your level of social anxiety being around other human beings?

Jul 9th

Those Brits, up to their old shenanigans again.

I was alerted to this latest development in the emotional breakdown of an entire culture by my favorite working class champion and rare voice of sanity on Twitter.

What she said.

Okay, not exactly what she said, but you get the idea.

Matt Jones appears to have put the procedure in place at his office. He was not embarrassed, but rather celebratory.

He seems like a perfectly nice fellow, but it does serve as a useful reminder as to why the colonists had had it with their fellow Brits and kicked them off the continent.

(Image above may or may not be historically accurate.)

Unfortunately, I'm afraid this is exactly the kind of thing that is ready to jump the pond to our emotionally stunted culture if it hasn't already.

Let's take a closer look at these color-coded ribbons.

Okay with hugs and high-fives

It does get awkard after a while. Is there a ribbon for that?

Okay with talking but not touching

Got it!

Hi! I'm keeping my distance.

I'm stepping back, stepping back.

Remember when adults used to be assumed to have the capacity to navigate all kinds of difficult and complex social situations without the help of color-coded ribbons?

Yeah, neither do I.

A common comment:

Do you advocate infantilising your employees?

Jones had an answer for that, one I found absolutely chilling as it suggests this is not at all a new idea, and is in fact spreading.

And no, there's no vaccine, no mask, no amount of plexiglass that can stop the spread!

Seems to be gaining momentum as the new socially acceptable way of telling people to back off

The smiley face makes it worse.

I worked in an office for over 35 years. You know who the people are that are going to be batty, and you know the ones who aren't, and if you don't, you will soon enough. It's really not that hard.

How about this: We'll wear your stupid little kindergarten ribbons but only if you're honest about them.


P.S. Now check out our latest video: "The Media's Constant Lies Are Fueling This Chaos" 👇

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