Are you looking for ways to reduce your interactions with your kids? Have you tried leaving them to be babysat by YouTube, Fortnite and MineCraft, and yet they still keep reaching out for genuine human connection?

Sounds like you need to pre-order a "Snorble"

Having trouble getting your kids to sleep through the night? It's okay. They have a life-like, customizable companion with unrealistic cuteness standards now. They don't need you any more. They have an artificial parent now.

How about that? Not only do you not have to teach your kids basic hygiene like brushing their teeth, or comfort them when they've had a nightmare: You can even outsource that whole grueling "I love you" crap. Or at least, "I love yeur."

Is it just me, or does the music make it WAY creepier?

Enjoy a good night's sleep, knowing how utterly replaceable you are.