It's become a bit of a tradition for me to sit down to watch State of the Union Addresses and jot down my stream of consciousness throughout. Last night was no different, so in case you decided to spare yourself the anguish of watching it, here's a recap that will tell you in real time what you missed…
- 9:02 No masks. Well, for the lawmakers in attendance tonight that is; kindergartners are still wearing them in places of course. Because science.
- 9:04 Wait, did they JUST lift this requirement? Weren't masks required in Congress yesterday? What changed? What science changed between yesterday and today? I have to fly this weekend – can science change before then too so I don't have to?
- 9:07 Still thinking about the lack of masks on the Democrat side. Seeing that the NYT editorial board just wrote a piece about it being the right time to end school mask requirement. It makes me really wonder if we're about to hear a "we ended COVID" victory lap tonight. Surely he won't do that, right? Right?
- 9:10 Nancy's eyes look VERY animated tonight. But her face isn't moving.
- 9:11 Nooooo. He just said "strenth." Not "strength." Why? Why is that so hard for people to pronounce? Do they think it sounds more sophisticated to say it that way? It's wrong. It's embarrassing. Such a pet peeve of mine. I don't know that I can refocus. THIS is the stuff that matters.
- 9:13 I'm actually a fan of Biden hammering Putin and speaking out strongly in support of the Ukrainian people.
- 9:18 "A pound of Ukrainian people?" Wonder what the going price for that is on the market? Seriously I know it was a blunder. We all make them. But what was he even trying to say there?
- 9:20 Oh geez. That's a bad gaffe. The "Iranian people." Yeesh.
[NTB Staff: Just gonna drop this here]
- 9:21 SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA! We've had a Scranton mention already! Now it's a Biden speech, baby!
- 9:22 Oh please tell me you were watching NBC's feed. Chuck Schumer just attempted a standing O and no one else stood. Then he sat down right as everyone stood up. Glorious buffoonery. That's gonna have to be a GIF right?
[NTB Staff: Why yes, Peter. It does need to be a GIF!]
- 9:24 And now it's a progressive Democrat speech – our bridges are crumbling, our infrastructure is in shambles. Sigh. By the way, we created more jobs than ever is such a bold lie to tell after it's been debunked by everyone. And to do it right after all that talk about Ukraine – such a tacky transition.
- 9:25 I appreciate that booing by the Republicans. No reason for the president to lie like that. The government shut everyone down, and cost people all their jobs. The government doesn't get credit for "creating jobs" when some of those people are able to find work again.
- 9:26 Someone has to help me. What is "environmental justice"? I don't comprehend that term. It's just made up.
- 9:28 Is it odd to anyone else that there is such a push for "buy American this" and "buy American that" except when it comes to energy. You know, like oil? Why do we import all that.
- 9:30 I just listened to that whole thing about Intel. Do you suppose before he just read it off the prompter that Biden even heard anything about that? I don't get the vibe he has any idea about any of…Oh boy, hold that thought. That "rust belt" line was painful. Was that an attempted improv?
- 9:33 "Lower your costs and not your wages." What does that even mean? That's not how economics works. At all.
- 9:40 I think Nancy Pelosi is an audio-animatronic.
- 9:45 Increase spending for…increase spending for…and let's start spending on…doesn't this seem unwise with record inflation?
- 9:48 "I've ordered more pills than anyone in the world has" doesn't have a great ring to it.
- 9:50 Ok, this is just incoherence. Biden just mocked the idea of "living with COVID." And now he's going into detail about how we will effectively "live with COVID." This is typical nonsense from D.C.
- 9:51 "You can't build a wall big enough to stop a vaccine." Okie-dokie.
- 9:52 Biden wants us to start treating each other as fellow Americans and not blaming one another regarding COVID. That rings hollow from a guy whose entire strategy for the last year was to vilify unvaccinated people as the reason our grandparents were dying.
- 9:54 "Fund the police" gets a standing O from Democrats. Yowza how times have changed. Seriously, wait 10 seconds in D.C. and people will be on the completely opposite side of an issue.
- 9:55 After what has gone down in Ukraine, pretending the 2nd Amendment is about hunting deer.
- 9:59 And there it is. "Serious and devout Catholic" Joe Biden is now going full-culture war: attacking the sanctity of life and promoting transgenderism. But tell me more about how conservatives are the culture warriors.
- 10:00 Okay I was typing – did he just say something about transgender kids acting as "God intended them to"? Tell me I misheard that.
- 10:01 "Stop doctors from prescribing treatments"? Ummm….
- 10:07 Okay I heard someone say something and get shushed. Went searching online to see if I could figure it out. Something about 13. Was it a reference to the 13 U.S. service members who died in the botched Afghanistan withdrawal? If so it's going to be very sad that that was the only mention they will receive tonight in this speech. They deserved better from their Commander-in-Chief.
- 10:09 He's getting louder. Something must be about to happen.
- 10:10 He's shouting now! It's getting exciting!
- 10:11 Dang, he botched the crescendo line. "State of the nation" instead of "State of the Union." Now he's shouting over clapping, he's choking, he's angry! Why is he angry at us?! Wait… "Go get him"? Go get who? What is happening?!?! He's done.
- 10:12 NBC's first response? Lauren Boebert's "13 of them" interruption. I was right – it was about Afghanistan soldiers.
- 10:13 I've seen enough; turned off the feed.
My overall take, I enjoyed this one much more than any of Obama's. I guess I should clarify what I mean by "enjoyed." I know Obama was a far more polished speaker, but there's just an unpredictability about Biden and his penchant for tossing a great word salad that keeps me riveted. I'm always waiting for a corn-pop to show up, or him to go off-script in spectacular fashion. And he never disappoints.
Content-wise I will always, always be distracted and morally repulsed by someone who suggests to the entire country that killing innocent children is a form of healthcare. That mistake renders your entire moral judgment about as worthless as it could be rendered. But other than that, I think Biden delivered a better State of Ukraine's Union speech than he did about ours.
But let's be honest – these aren't speeches about the actual reality of how things are going. These are campaign speeches for the president and his party. That's what they always are. And in that sense, I don't think this speech moved any needle. It didn't tick off Americans, but it certainly didn't inspire them or encourage them. He kept pushing his agenda that has failed to this point and offered nothing motivating for the future.
If the goal was to help Democrats in the midterms, the speech failed. If the goal was to make it through a national speech without falling flat on his face, it was fine. Now, go get ‘em.
