For 32 years, Californians have had their right to bear arms infringed based on a law that bans "assault weapons" from the hands of law-abiding citizens, while criminals continue to own semi-automatics rifles and their more fun automatic cousins.

As of last Friday, however, a judge has paved the way for freedom in the leftist paradise once more:

Judge Roger T. Benitez gave an epic statement in his decision:

"This case is not about extraordinary weapons lying at the outer limits of Second Amendment protection. The banned ‘assault weapons' are not bazookas, howitzers, or machineguns. Those arms are dangerous and solely useful for military purposes. Instead, the firearms deemed ‘assault weapons' are fairly ordinary, popular, modern rifles. This is an average case about average guns used in average ways for average purposes."

Oh, but it gets even better:

"One is to be forgiven if one is persuaded by news media and others that the nation is awash with murderous AR-15 assault rifles. The facts, however, do not support this hyperbole, and facts matter. Federal Bureau of Investigation murder statistics do not track assault rifles, but they do show that killing by knife attack is far more common than murder by any kind of rifle. In California, murder by knife occurs seven times more often than murder by rifle. For example, according to F.B.I. statistics for 2019, California saw 252 people murdered with a knife, while 34 people were killed with some type of rifle – not necessarily an AR-15. A Californian is three times more likely to be murdered by an attacker's bare hands, fists, or feet, than by his rifle. In 2018, the statistics were even more lopsided as California saw only 24 murders by some type of rifle. The same pattern can be observed across the nation."

The good judge struck down all laws and ordinances that deem "assault weapons" a public nuisance, that prohibit them from being lawfully owned by minors (there's lots of teenagers in shooting and hunting clubs, y'all), that restrict their use, or regulate them.

Boy it feels good to have a judge uphold the Constitution and people's God-given right to self-defense. John Locke and Thomas Jefferson would be proud.

As you can imagine, however, the blue checkmarks at Twitter lost their ever-loving minds at the news.

Let's start with Gov. Hairdoo himself:

Newsom, who has probably never held an AR rifle, likely tweeted this from his favorite table at French Laundry.

Then there was outspoken trans activist "Charlotte" Clymer:

Well, there you have it. A man living as a woman has declared to us how reality and law work!

Speaking of a man living in reality, America's favorite commie felt the need to chime in:

Bernie knows gun control works because look at his favorite country, Russia! After the Soviets banned nearly all guns before WWII, they totally didn't enslave and murder tens of millions of their own citizens, and today, Russia is known as a gun-free utopia! Progress!

Moving along:

Here's another fun fact: You also can't stop a criminal who cares diddly squat about gun laws with a knife!

Well, there you have it! Tara has never once needed a gun for self-defense, so no one needs it, right??

Then there was this:

Translation: If you uphold the Constitution, inalienable rights, statistics, and common sense, you are now a "conspiracy theorist."

Like this guy:

Logic is now QAnon! Yay!

The best reaction came from rabid lefty and prominent madman Keith Olbermann, who is seriously either insane or on the take from someone like Chinese Emperor Xi:

I find it funny that a white man is calling a Latino judge born in communist Cuba a "death-worshipping fascist," but when you're woke, you can be as racist and vile as you want!

To help Keith overcome his delusions, here's the text of the Second Amendment: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed."

I highlighted a few words there. First, it's important to note that our founders believed the Second Amendment is necessary. Technology changes, but this truth does not. Limiting people to gun tech from the 1800s is not fulfilling that mandate.

Second, we have these two lovely words "keep" and "bear."

In case Keith needs an English lesson, here are a few definitions for "keep":

And here's a few for "bear":

Oh, how I love a good clown show to start the week!