Welcome to Bizzaro World, ladies, and gentlemen!

ABC News's Good Morning America has done the amazing work of propaganda for the rainbow mafia by featuring a group called the "Parasol Patrol."

Or, as I am now dubbing them, the Groomer Guard.

This is a group of people, including drag queens and other members of the rainbow mafia who bring kids to public protests and use rainbow-colored umbrellas to hide kids from counter-protestors who are opposed to sexualizing children.

And, yeah, according to ABC, these are the good guys.

Letting grown men dress in women's underwear and do strip shows is totally appropriate for kids, but if they see a Christian holding up a sign telling people to repent, or if they see a moderate liberal hold up a sign saying "Don't strip in front of kids" then they need a whole army to protect them.

The kids that are brought to these pro-LGBT events are exposed to all sorts of public sexual deviance and these weirdos celebrate and protect the child abusers.

And they call you a bigot if you disagree.

This is the only umbrella I need: