Alternate title: "I'm an insane person and this is how I shop for my family."
· Jul 27, 2021 · NottheBee.com

Many people think like this.

Some even act on it.

And then there are those select few, the truly committed (or ought-to-be) who take it one giant leap further and celebrate it with a multi-thread tweet for all the world to bask in its glory.

Oh no! Did someone on Twitter post something they regret and then delete their account? I totally did not see that coming.

Also, I screen captured the entire thread.

I'm a vaccinated anaesthetist and this is how I shop for my family.

I know what you're thinking:

That's crazy!

She should be wearing this.

Not to worry. She's not done yet. Oh no, not even close.

Prepare yourself for a typical shopping trip with Tanya Selak, a one-woman Australian version of the A-Team, capable of elevating an otherwise mundane trip to get groceries into Oceans-11 levels of planning, execution, and cunning.

Let's all embark together on this magical journey into madness.

Preparation is key.

Successful military leaders agree.

If possible, I go at quieter times or click and collect if I'm organised.

If I need to go in, I have my respirator mask, sanitiser, a list, and the bags which I always forgot pre-pandemic.

I know that GIF is intended to be amusing, but in context it just makes me sad.

Current rules are that maximum one person per household can go each day.

Think of these as Australian rules grocery shopping, like Australian Rules Football, only with more protective gear.

We minimize this as much as possible. Either my hubby or I go. Never together.

No kids.

I'm sure her kids are every bit as well adjusted as she is.

Once parked I put on my respirator. I'm in healthcare so have a stock of self-purchased N95's in the car. I take a moment to ensure that it is fitted correctly. No leaks.

The meditative breath GIF she chose here speaks volumes. She really is acting like she's about to transverse some dystopian nightmare and not just the produce aisle.

At the entrance I check in using the QR code the furthest away from the front door. I sanitize my hands.

Big smile with my eyes and thank you to the greeter.

Once inside it's a race.

I assume I have covid. I assume everyone else has covid.

I shop with laser sharp focus. No browsing.

I avoid crowded aisles.

Sorry, kids, no milk today. The dairy aisle was infested. With people.

Keep distant. Get only what I need. Touch only what is necessary.

I don't squeeze every avocado to see which is ripe.

It's probably best you skip the guacamole at Selak's house.

What am I saying? You'll never be allowed in Selak's house.

We're not done yet. She still had to get out of there alive.

Once I have everything, I pay via self-service usually at the end one if free. I get outta there ASAP. Smile and thank the attendant. Sanitize on exit. Check out via the app. A long shop is 15 mins, usually 7.

How does she justify this behavior?

I don't want to bring covid into my hospitals. I want to do all I can as an individual to minimize risk.

What risk is she trying to minimize?

Here are the case rates in Australia for the past 30 days.

There does appear to be a rise in cases. In fact, they started rising a few weeks before this 30-day snapshot, plenty of time for the bodies to start piling up like cordwood in hospital parking lots.

Oops.

Not to minimize each and every one of these tragedies, but on average two to three Australians die per day of the flu, and yet no one is executing shopping trips with D-Day precision over that.

She is not minimizing risk, she is maximizing hysteria.

She had her defenders, of course.

She had people who were equally as crazy. (Mild language warning.)

Is it mad to still be bleaching the shopping?

Why yes, yes it is. Thank you for asking.

There were people who share my view.

And there were ones who had some fun with it.

She can do what she wants, of course, but this behavior is emblematic of what has become of society and it's not confined to Australia. Having people this terrorized is how you end up with very bad policies that will ultimately affect us all.


Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now
App screenshot

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.