Apple just announced a mixed-reality headset that you can wear to watch movies and use your computer and I totally won't laugh at you if you drop $3,500 on it
· Jun 5, 2023 ·


Yeah, so I've always said Apple couldn't do anything without Steve Jobs and I guess I was right.

The Apple Watch was Jobs' last concept and that released 8 years ago.

After nearly a decade, the best thing Apple could come up with is a face screen for THREE THOUSAND AND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

Now you can plaster this directly to your kids' brain to have Disney groom their brain with direct contact!

Don't get me wrong – augmented reality is part of the future of tech. I'd much rather have external devices like this than, oh, chips in my brain, and being able to see certain things via a pair of glasses is a great way to implement said tech. A headset like this could be vastly useful in military applications, for example, and finally allow soldiers to live their best Halo life now.

One could think of plenty of other practical and fun applications – especially for multitasking with screens in crowded offices or public places like airports when you have to write an article about some stupid new Apple product.

But Apple seems to be marketing this as much for kicking back at home as they are for the office, as a household staple for the masses.

"Just plaster this thing to your face for the day!" says the company that's not content having their phone in your pocket every moment of the day.

If you're rich and want to spend $3,500 to look like a dork version of Commander Shepherd from Mass Effect before our impending financial collapse, more power to ya!

Apple is trying to make the glasses less weird by putting, I kid you not, a separate "EyeSight" screen on the front that displays your eyes to people so you don't look so much like a cyborg. Just the uncanny valley dream you've always wanted!

You should also know that the Vision headset has to be sized to your head – oh, and if you have a prescription for glasses or contacts, you'll need to shell out a small fortune to make these usable for you.

But don't let that stop you. The galaxy awaits. Just don't expect me to strap that thing to my face anytime soon.

At least Tim Cook didn't demo the headset in the shower!!

I'm just gonna leave ya with Iceland's brilliant response to all this VR/AR stuff.

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now
App screenshot