You know what atomic scientists think of when they think of keeping the world safe from nuclear war?
Men in dresses.
Well, the ones at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists do anyway. Some of their researchers published an article called "Queering Nuclear Weapons" all about how if we don't put LGBTQ+ people in charge of our nukes, the whole world is way more likely to go BOOM!
The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists was founded in 1945 after nuclear bombs were used in Nagasaki and Hiroshima. The organization's founding members included Albert Einstein and other scientists who worked on the Manhattan Project and has, until now, had an illustrious record of stumping for nuclear disarmament.
Now, however, they're calling for everybody's favorite communist catchphrase: Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, and saying it's necessary to get nuclear weapons out of the hands of old, white, experienced men because they're probably in league with white supremacists.
And even more important than including women and people of color, we need to get nukes into the hands of the LGBTQ+ crowd (for security, of course).
And anyone who says otherwise is probably just continuing the "Lavender Scare," a clever play on "The Red Scare" and the hunt for communists in the first half of the twentieth century.
The linking of homophobia and national security concerns seems to stem from sensationalized case studies of defections of US intelligence specialists to the Soviet Union during the Cold War. This legacy of queerness being considered a security risk is still pervasive in the nuclear field.
So what's their premise for needing to have more LGBTQ+ people in charge of nukes?
To flush out the white supremacists.
(You can't make this up, folks.)
Individuals targeted by these kinds of groups — including women, people of color, and the LGBTQ+ community — are more likely to identify these types of behaviors and attitudes as security risks and can play a crucial role in identifying a potential insider threat.
That's right. LGBTQ+ people are like bloodhounds.
They can walk into a room and sniff out old white guys who actually know how nuclear weapons work, bark at them, and get them fired.
And it's already begun.
Remember Sam Brinton? The cross-dressing, bag-stealing creep was a nuclear engineer who was placed in charge of nuclear waste, and oddly enough considering my metaphor above, he likes to dress up like a dog.
If you look past his criminality and weird dog fetish, Brinton's stint in the federal government's nuclear department brought up an even more concerning issue when putting these folks in charge of nuclear weapons: in multiple interviews, Brinton admitted to struggling with suicidal ideation.
The last thing we need is a suicidal gender-fluid guy with his heels on the trigger of a nuclear arsenal.
