America held a family meeting July 4th to discuss the precarious situation we are now facing with a struggling elderly president. Families, neighborhoods, and towns large and small across this great land gathered to grill some burgers, wave American flags, shoot off fireworks and discuss President Biden's clear case of sudden onset dementia. As there were no warning signs, this has come as a complete shock to the nation. Thankfully, Hunter Biden has agreed to step in to run the country while Dr. Jill takes over the campaign. As the ballots for Biden are already filled out and ready to mail in, his victory is assured. It will then be safe for him to step down and pass off the nuclear football to Vice President Harris, making her the first DEI president of the United States. Republicans are uncomfortable with this turn of events, however, fearing the Democrats may have shot themselves in the foot — stealing a key play from the RNC playbook. Unsure how to proceed, some are warming up to the idea of a second Trump presidency, while others are still hopeful that won't be necessary. However, that is not all that happened last week!

Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.

Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:

• Captain Of The Titanic Claims He Just Had A Bad Night @showquest

• KJP Says Wandering Off, Shaking Hands With Ghosts And Shouting Incoherently Are Also Symptoms Of A Cold @disidente_redactico

• Pretend Doctor Runs Pretend President @twoplus2ischicken

• Biden Says He'll Resign Just As Soon As Pelosi Stops Drinking @drconservativeprof

• Wife Earns Certification In Flashlight-Holding @kirgol

• Man Who Replied 'Stop2End' To Wife's Text Message Now Getting Angry Phone Calls @dontslowtheearth

• Biden Shows Doctor's Note Saying He Is Physically Unable To Step Aside @neohillbilly

• Stupidity Polling Higher Than Dementia Among Democrat Donors, Seen As Big Boost To Harris @carolyn1

• With SCOTUS Immunity Ruling, Biden Family Scrambles To Commit As Many Crimes As Possible Before Leaving Office @priehle

• Top Ukraine Energy Expert, Hunter Biden, Now Advising The President @gfanson

• Biden Relieved When Angel Of Death Explains He's Just Here For Biden's Campaign @buzzyboy

• Weird: Parade Participants Celebrate July 4th With All Their Clothes On @ruthiej714

• Democrats Devise Ice Cream Cone Mouse Trap To Take Biden Out Of The Race @unclecrumpty

• Confused Progressive Awaits Clear Direction To Form Opinion On Biden @anythingelse

• Feuding Kamala Harris And Jill Biden In Cat Fight Over Who Gains Puppet Master Control Of Senile Joe @dorli

• Democrats Ditch The Donkey In Favor Of The Lemming @m4d

Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:

• White House Announces President's Annual Autopsy Scheduled For Wednesday @clipton

• Camry Totaled After Door-Ding By Cybertruck @tylermontgomery

• Biden Campaign Demands His Mic Be Turned Off For Second Debate @thecatherder

• Democrats Make Biden Comfortable While Party Leaders Decide What To Do With Him @mrhugs

• Biden Counting On Dementia Crowd To Vote Twice @dontslowtheearth

• Scholars Now Believe Nebuchadnezzar Also Got Rid Of The Shag Carpet In His Palace After His Reason Returned To Him @truttle

• AP Reports Kamala Harris ‘Smart And Eloquent But Sometimes Stupid And Rambling' @showquest

• Nancy Pelosi Refers To Joe Biden As "My Precious" @atomik

• Mom Stops To Question Why She's Arguing With Kid Picking His Nose Wearing His Shirt On Backwards @ruthiej714

• Mission Team Sent To Evangelize Those Sitting In Church's Balcony @davel

@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:

• DC Police Called To 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue To Evict Squatters @nightrider

Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!

Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico

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